indecision indecision

I was just reading over some of my old blogs and trying to remember who I was then and figure out if I am much different now. I didn't like myself much today, but probably because I was in a selfish mood (sorry mom). It seems I am in a constant state of indecision now about one thing or another. Does everyone feel this way, or is it just a college age thing? I hope it doesn't last too much longer, I hate being so indecisive. Or maybe it's not that I'm indecisive, I have actually made plenty of decisions, they just seem to change all the time due to circumstances beyond my control. The decision to stay in Flagstaff for example. I had been going to take a semester off and try to go to Mozambique.. then it didn't work with school.. but now I'm not even sure what school I'll be going to. SO was I wrong to decide to stay n Flagstaff? As much as I want to live with Julie and be with the people I know there, I want to go to Mozambique. I feel like something's not quite right... Oh how I wish God would write a letter and tell me what decisions He wants me to make. On the other hand, I know that I want my degree in Social Work, it's just not very convenient with all of the other things I want to do haha. If they would just let me take off any time I wanted, and didn't take all my money and let me study what I really want to study life would be good. yeah right. Buckle up, take responsibility.

Ever since middle school I had felt the weight of trying to get into a good school. Sometimes I couldn't sleep with the stress of it. All through high school. And then came the day that we realized those schools we were looking at weren't even possibilities. Disappointed? Very, but willing to accept that God must not want me there. Then I went through the Well why am I even here stage. In my mind I had worried all those years about getting somewhere without thinking about why I was trying to get there. And then I lost my scholarship (goodbye pride lol), and it was about that time that I realized why I wanted to be in school. Isn't it ironic (don't ya think)? And that is where I am today. Lord only knows where I'll be tomorrow. Indecision... hey it can't last forever. After all, tomorrow is anothah day...

Praise God for all the things He uses to teach us! Be Blessed, Seek Joy of Him!