There is a fundraiser for genocide victims at the Art Walk on Friday... if you're in the area.
I saw a friend last night who knew Chris, my friend who died, who was able to tell me a few things... He died on a trip with his church, sharing with the Havasupai tribe in the canyon. The people in the tribe have seen more than one death, being in the canyon, and they were amazed at the way the church handled Chris's death. Fifteen people from the tribe decided to become God's children, and one lady even came to Chris's funeral and spoke a little. Praise Him.
She did also tell me that she doesn't think the reality and all has really hit everyone yet, so be in prayer for them.
I was talking to a friend the other day about heaven and eternity, and how heaven isn't a very clear idea for us. Sometimes I think we (I know I do) make the mistake of thinking we'll get used to it after a while, and it is usually portayed a somewhat boring and stiff in media and whatnot. What I think is amazing though, is that God is so wonderful, He is joy itself, and he is limitless. There really is no limit to His love and joy. Every moment we spend with Him is new, and greater.
The only way I can think of to describe it is like the end of the Chronicles of Narnia series. The children are in "heaven" (and really, I love that idea of heaven. running and playing with the King in the beauty He created!) and the further in that they go, the better and more real it becomes. Our senses here are dulled and limited. In heaven we won't have those limits, and we will only be able to sense everyting more clearly as time passes.
That is my limited idea of heaven.
Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Jerome
I just got back from hiking and I'm all covered up in dust. Am I going to shower? nah. too lazy.. it's Flagstaff..
My roommate and I went to Jerome yesterday after a nice breakfast. I like saturday breakfasts.. They're a good start to the day. We met some interesting people, and, more importantly, found the good coffee place. I had usually gone to a place that was kinda fun to visit at, but the coffee was less than desirable. LAst time I was there we sat and discussed the many reasons Starbucks is no bueno with the owner and a big harley riding guy. It was fun. This place is better though, much better, and cheaper, and cuter, and the owners are friendly too.
We got a disposable camera since I still haven't found the cord to my digital.... so I'll put pictures up soon.
We drove back through Sedona and Oak Creek, and remembered why we love Arizona. (I think it mostly has to do with the blue skies and the big mountains).
You know, there's a lesson to learn in every situation, and we always learn one. SOmetimes, maybe even most times, the wrong lesson is learned. If the wrong lesson is learned, the right one is still there waiting, but it takes many more steps and more time. We watched Anna and the King the other night, and she is talking about her husband's death. The King tells her that life is suffring, but that there is always a way to grow through the suffering. Anna tells him that maybe she would have preferred a different lesson to learn, and he replies that Yes, but then you would not be where you are now, changing the world.
Well, time to go.. dinner at Lainee's... steak burritos :D oh yea
My roommate and I went to Jerome yesterday after a nice breakfast. I like saturday breakfasts.. They're a good start to the day. We met some interesting people, and, more importantly, found the good coffee place. I had usually gone to a place that was kinda fun to visit at, but the coffee was less than desirable. LAst time I was there we sat and discussed the many reasons Starbucks is no bueno with the owner and a big harley riding guy. It was fun. This place is better though, much better, and cheaper, and cuter, and the owners are friendly too.
We got a disposable camera since I still haven't found the cord to my digital.... so I'll put pictures up soon.
We drove back through Sedona and Oak Creek, and remembered why we love Arizona. (I think it mostly has to do with the blue skies and the big mountains).
You know, there's a lesson to learn in every situation, and we always learn one. SOmetimes, maybe even most times, the wrong lesson is learned. If the wrong lesson is learned, the right one is still there waiting, but it takes many more steps and more time. We watched Anna and the King the other night, and she is talking about her husband's death. The King tells her that life is suffring, but that there is always a way to grow through the suffering. Anna tells him that maybe she would have preferred a different lesson to learn, and he replies that Yes, but then you would not be where you are now, changing the world.
Well, time to go.. dinner at Lainee's... steak burritos :D oh yea
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Vendettas and Hippies
I was watching V for Vendetta tonight (good movie, not so dumbed down like most movies made now. Have you noticed that? I notice it when especially watching kid's shows, media is getting more dumb like they're trying to numb our brains. Seriously guys, maybe it's a conspiracy. Soon we'll all be like zombies walking around. Or maybe I think everything's part of a conspiracy to brainwash us cause I just watched that movie. I also think that movie, or the idea behind it, is the biggest thing keeping me from being a liberal. I'm not sure what I am. I'm a nothing. I'm a theocracist. I don't know if that's a word. I bet you forgot what this sentence was about.) and the main character, V, made a statement that caught my attention.
He said something about motives, or intentions. That what we hope to do is not what people see, not what we are remembered for. You cannot see hope, it is not a physical thing, unless put into action. Like faith, people cannot see my hope (unless they read my blog, I think) unless I am doing something to show it to them. I can have the best intentions, but if that is what they remain, what good is it? Not any.
It would be better to be stone cold than lukewarm. Be hot, or be cold, but don't linger on between the two. I am in the state of lingering. I don't know quite how to get out of it. That's the thing, though, with God. He calls us to little things, mostly. And little things, well, they're little. Hard to see through human eyes. Maybe I'm placing too much emphasis on big things. Maybe I'm missing out on the little things, which are the most important and so it si sad that they've become the least important.
My prayer should be for sight for the little things. New eyes. Little things and little people in each day.
My spirit has a yearning. I know the Lord is powerful and beyond comprehension. I know it takes more than a day to know Him. I know that what He sees and has for me goes beyond human ambition, whatever that may be for, education, money, someone to share my life with. I know that His ways are better than mine, that He sees my heart growth and all I see is growth in terms of my own ambition. I know all this. Sometimes.
And sometimes I wish our brains had sticky notes so I could write myself reminders.
I am going to work on that Lightening up thing, by the way.. at least include my fun stories more to balance out what my usual blog has become. It helps a lot to have this when I don't have people around me that I can unload onto, lol. Believe it or not *ahem* not everyone enjoys deep conversation topics. So, here I am, unloading on you, poor soul. Ah well.. self inflicted is it not?
I do have a story though, I don't think I wrote about this one, sorry if I did.
This is one of my roommates, the one getting married soon...
I went to Prescott with one of my roommates a couple weeks ago to have a sunday. We got coffee and sat at the courthouse and watched all the lovely people. There were couple walking their dogs... A couple of people wearing matching clothes and doing what looked like a mix between tai chi and circus performing. I think we decided they were in some sort of martial arts. It was fun to watch though.. Some people were carrying roses, and there were some lying on the benches. A group of about 10 hippies were at the corner of the park. When girl/woman came to the park one of them would give her a rose and tell her she was beautiful.
Isn't that a beautiful thing? So we got roses.. It made my day! It was so nice.. they were amazing. I wish I could've gotten to know them, but they left. I'll put up pictures sometime.. I lost my cord to my camera :(.. I'll find it.
See? I can lighten up.....
He said something about motives, or intentions. That what we hope to do is not what people see, not what we are remembered for. You cannot see hope, it is not a physical thing, unless put into action. Like faith, people cannot see my hope (unless they read my blog, I think) unless I am doing something to show it to them. I can have the best intentions, but if that is what they remain, what good is it? Not any.
It would be better to be stone cold than lukewarm. Be hot, or be cold, but don't linger on between the two. I am in the state of lingering. I don't know quite how to get out of it. That's the thing, though, with God. He calls us to little things, mostly. And little things, well, they're little. Hard to see through human eyes. Maybe I'm placing too much emphasis on big things. Maybe I'm missing out on the little things, which are the most important and so it si sad that they've become the least important.
My prayer should be for sight for the little things. New eyes. Little things and little people in each day.
My spirit has a yearning. I know the Lord is powerful and beyond comprehension. I know it takes more than a day to know Him. I know that what He sees and has for me goes beyond human ambition, whatever that may be for, education, money, someone to share my life with. I know that His ways are better than mine, that He sees my heart growth and all I see is growth in terms of my own ambition. I know all this. Sometimes.
And sometimes I wish our brains had sticky notes so I could write myself reminders.
I am going to work on that Lightening up thing, by the way.. at least include my fun stories more to balance out what my usual blog has become. It helps a lot to have this when I don't have people around me that I can unload onto, lol. Believe it or not *ahem* not everyone enjoys deep conversation topics. So, here I am, unloading on you, poor soul. Ah well.. self inflicted is it not?
I do have a story though, I don't think I wrote about this one, sorry if I did.
This is one of my roommates, the one getting married soon...
I went to Prescott with one of my roommates a couple weeks ago to have a sunday. We got coffee and sat at the courthouse and watched all the lovely people. There were couple walking their dogs... A couple of people wearing matching clothes and doing what looked like a mix between tai chi and circus performing. I think we decided they were in some sort of martial arts. It was fun to watch though.. Some people were carrying roses, and there were some lying on the benches. A group of about 10 hippies were at the corner of the park. When girl/woman came to the park one of them would give her a rose and tell her she was beautiful.
Isn't that a beautiful thing? So we got roses.. It made my day! It was so nice.. they were amazing. I wish I could've gotten to know them, but they left. I'll put up pictures sometime.. I lost my cord to my camera :(.. I'll find it.
See? I can lighten up.....
(This is the guy doing the tai chi or whatever... I was very sly and took a picture.)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Pride
Ever feel like you want to start over? Let's erase the slate, start a new day, you know the lingo.
I like to sound smart. I like to know what I'm talking about (or at least soundlike I do). Just when I think I'm starting to get things figured out, God decides, meh you need to chill out. And then He wipes the slate clean for me, in a manner of speaking.
I like it this way too though. I mean, I'd like to think I'm smart and can figure things out but really, everything I think I know is only a shadow of what really is. Like life on earth is a shadow of eternity, my thoughts are a breath in comparison to real Truth.
Maybe this is confession week. My last blog was something of a confession as well. It's good to be humbled. Actually, I think that real humility is not so much a 'thinking less of oneself' sort of thing but more of a 'thinking more of others' sort of thing. If I am thinking less of myself, I'm really not. Just sounds like I am. I'm still thinking of myself, it's what I do most of, and it is a form of pride. If I were truly being humble, I wouldn't be talking about me at all.
In that book by Rick Joyner (it's at home, I'll have to give you the name of the book later... something about a Quest...) his vision stresses the hurtful effects of pride. It's incredible (and not in a good way) how affected I am by pride. The only way to avoid it, in my opinion, is to think about other people more than I think about myself. That, would be a miracle. There's not other way it could happen, only by divine intervention. In essence, then, Love is the cure for pride.
It's all about love. Now I have a song from RENT running through my head. Tangent.... Here are some verses I borrowed from another blog....
don't make a show of your religion in order to attract attention to yourself. -matt 6:1
whenever you do someone a favour, don't tell the world about it. - matt 6:2
always treat other people as you would like them to treat you. - matt 7:12
do not treat children with contempt. - matt 18:10
treat older people with respect. - luke 18:20
just love your neighbour as yourself. - luke 10:27
how sad it is for you who neglect to do justice. - luke 11:42
stop judging people by mere appearances. - john 7:24
whoever want to be a leader should be a servant of all. - matt 20:26
All of these are about love and true humility. A true reflection of Christ. Oh that the reflection would not be mirrored by words alone!
I like to sound smart. I like to know what I'm talking about (or at least soundlike I do). Just when I think I'm starting to get things figured out, God decides, meh you need to chill out. And then He wipes the slate clean for me, in a manner of speaking.
I like it this way too though. I mean, I'd like to think I'm smart and can figure things out but really, everything I think I know is only a shadow of what really is. Like life on earth is a shadow of eternity, my thoughts are a breath in comparison to real Truth.
Maybe this is confession week. My last blog was something of a confession as well. It's good to be humbled. Actually, I think that real humility is not so much a 'thinking less of oneself' sort of thing but more of a 'thinking more of others' sort of thing. If I am thinking less of myself, I'm really not. Just sounds like I am. I'm still thinking of myself, it's what I do most of, and it is a form of pride. If I were truly being humble, I wouldn't be talking about me at all.
In that book by Rick Joyner (it's at home, I'll have to give you the name of the book later... something about a Quest...) his vision stresses the hurtful effects of pride. It's incredible (and not in a good way) how affected I am by pride. The only way to avoid it, in my opinion, is to think about other people more than I think about myself. That, would be a miracle. There's not other way it could happen, only by divine intervention. In essence, then, Love is the cure for pride.
It's all about love. Now I have a song from RENT running through my head. Tangent.... Here are some verses I borrowed from another blog....
don't make a show of your religion in order to attract attention to yourself. -matt 6:1
whenever you do someone a favour, don't tell the world about it. - matt 6:2
always treat other people as you would like them to treat you. - matt 7:12
do not treat children with contempt. - matt 18:10
treat older people with respect. - luke 18:20
just love your neighbour as yourself. - luke 10:27
how sad it is for you who neglect to do justice. - luke 11:42
stop judging people by mere appearances. - john 7:24
whoever want to be a leader should be a servant of all. - matt 20:26
All of these are about love and true humility. A true reflection of Christ. Oh that the reflection would not be mirrored by words alone!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I wish!
I wish....
I wish Flagstaff smelled like orange blossoms like Phoenix does right now.
I wish I had a degree.
I take the last wish back, and wish I could see the person who invented college degrees. We'd have some words. Also the guy (oh yea, must've been a guy) who made it mandatory to take a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with my major.
I wish for a house to start a community in sunnyside.
I wish I could wish for world peace.
I wish politicians were honest.
Oh, and I wish I could fly.
Here is my wish list. Remember that story about the man in Africa who didn't want anything because he had everything he needed? Well, he had obviously never been to America. Americans have a LOT more needs than people in other countries. Trust me. I need a flushing toilet, hot shower, microwave, cell phone, and car for starters. Oh yes, that's just the beginning of my list of needs. There is more to life than food and family! That's why I need so much. You forgot about me, you see. Life is about me, and I'm sorry there's people out on the streets cold and hungry, but that just isn't as important as my coffee.
You may think I'm just trying to make a point, but if we live the way we believe, then isn't all of that true?
God loves to bless us, but it's not about us. God gives me blessings, but they're not for me. My blessings are for everyone around me.
I need pita pit, but people in Africa, oh they only need a bag of rice. I need a nice warm bed, but that homeless man needs a shelter. (Not putting down shelters, by the way.) I.... need Jesus. And I have found the common need. That's the starting point.
I wish Flagstaff smelled like orange blossoms like Phoenix does right now.
I wish I had a degree.
I take the last wish back, and wish I could see the person who invented college degrees. We'd have some words. Also the guy (oh yea, must've been a guy) who made it mandatory to take a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with my major.
I wish for a house to start a community in sunnyside.
I wish I could wish for world peace.
I wish politicians were honest.
Oh, and I wish I could fly.
Here is my wish list. Remember that story about the man in Africa who didn't want anything because he had everything he needed? Well, he had obviously never been to America. Americans have a LOT more needs than people in other countries. Trust me. I need a flushing toilet, hot shower, microwave, cell phone, and car for starters. Oh yes, that's just the beginning of my list of needs. There is more to life than food and family! That's why I need so much. You forgot about me, you see. Life is about me, and I'm sorry there's people out on the streets cold and hungry, but that just isn't as important as my coffee.
You may think I'm just trying to make a point, but if we live the way we believe, then isn't all of that true?
God loves to bless us, but it's not about us. God gives me blessings, but they're not for me. My blessings are for everyone around me.
I need pita pit, but people in Africa, oh they only need a bag of rice. I need a nice warm bed, but that homeless man needs a shelter. (Not putting down shelters, by the way.) I.... need Jesus. And I have found the common need. That's the starting point.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
all that jazz
I'm reading a book by Rick Joyner about a vision he had. It's very interesting. It's a good reminder to me that life is not what I can see.
At what point does individualism become harmful? Is there one? WHy do I think it's a good thing? Culture? It really affects my worldview. (And I'm not entirely sure what it is, I only know it's been affected by our individualistic culture.)
Someone asked me what my worldview is. I didn't know how to answer, and I think it might be a good thing to know, being that it affects every part of my life.
I decided I like Obama, and he scares me. I like him because I really like everything he says (despite some apparent fishing for votes). He scares me because everyone I've talked to about him also really likes him. People aren't supposed to like politicians. This all worries me. If you haven't read his Selma, Alabama speech, you should. It's good.
Are the crunchy cons conservative economically/liberal socially or is it the other way around? I've been reading a "crunchy cons" blog, and I think I like it. I just haven't followed it enough to figure it out.
Did you know that hiking is addicting? It is. I'm sunburned.
Two more days til I go home. Starting to count the hours now. Not really, just feels like it. I just want to rest! There is no peace of mind like home. That's my new saying. Like it?
Almost time for church. I long for this fellowship time. More with God than with the people, although I love the people too. Well... I'm going to drink my chai and visit now.
At what point does individualism become harmful? Is there one? WHy do I think it's a good thing? Culture? It really affects my worldview. (And I'm not entirely sure what it is, I only know it's been affected by our individualistic culture.)
Someone asked me what my worldview is. I didn't know how to answer, and I think it might be a good thing to know, being that it affects every part of my life.
I decided I like Obama, and he scares me. I like him because I really like everything he says (despite some apparent fishing for votes). He scares me because everyone I've talked to about him also really likes him. People aren't supposed to like politicians. This all worries me. If you haven't read his Selma, Alabama speech, you should. It's good.
Are the crunchy cons conservative economically/liberal socially or is it the other way around? I've been reading a "crunchy cons" blog, and I think I like it. I just haven't followed it enough to figure it out.
Did you know that hiking is addicting? It is. I'm sunburned.
Two more days til I go home. Starting to count the hours now. Not really, just feels like it. I just want to rest! There is no peace of mind like home. That's my new saying. Like it?
Almost time for church. I long for this fellowship time. More with God than with the people, although I love the people too. Well... I'm going to drink my chai and visit now.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Behind a veil
Tonight at class we experienced a little muslim culture. The men and women had separate entries. Upon walking in the door I was told to cover my head with a scarf. I walked into the room which had been divided by a lace veil. The area for the women was rather small and on the floor several women were sitting on pillows, dressed in veils and some in full Arab dress.
I knew this night was coming, but I hadn't expected it to bother me. It's just experiencing another culture, right? But it did affect me. In fact, it bothered me a lot. The speaker addressed the men without a glance at our side of the room. We sat in silence as the men participated in the lesson. After about an hour, the veil was taken off and we proceeded as normal.
I wrote down a few words describing how it felt, disconnected, useless, unwanted, superfluous. The head covering is there (for modesty too) in our Bible as a visible sign of submission. As I watched the men from behind the veil, I thought about what it means for a wife to submit to her husband. I decided I didn't really know what that meant. For his decisions to overrule mine, for my input to be a side note? Is that what it's like sometimes? I'm so used to my input being respected and listened to...
How do women in that culture maintain a feeling of significance? My words imply that I believe in the headship of men, but I'm not sure they are heartfelt. This is an extreme example perhaps, and I know that there are many issues inside this issue, but I'm only addressing the one tonight (sigh of relief). How do I learn what it is to be under submission while maintaining my opinions, thoughts, beliefs? God didn't give me a mind to waste, but where does it come into play?
I am an American, and I have a lot of frames that I've fit life into. One of my professors said that people don't reject those lifelong frames unless there's some sort of crisis. I like being around diversity. It doesn't confuse, like it may sound when I'm on here, but it does make me think. I think that's a good thing. I think it's a bad thing to always be around the same type of people who hold the exact same beliefs as yourself. Trees fall down when there's no wind...
So tonight, I stepped outside one of my frames and took a look. Now God, teach me from that new perspective.
I knew this night was coming, but I hadn't expected it to bother me. It's just experiencing another culture, right? But it did affect me. In fact, it bothered me a lot. The speaker addressed the men without a glance at our side of the room. We sat in silence as the men participated in the lesson. After about an hour, the veil was taken off and we proceeded as normal.
I wrote down a few words describing how it felt, disconnected, useless, unwanted, superfluous. The head covering is there (for modesty too) in our Bible as a visible sign of submission. As I watched the men from behind the veil, I thought about what it means for a wife to submit to her husband. I decided I didn't really know what that meant. For his decisions to overrule mine, for my input to be a side note? Is that what it's like sometimes? I'm so used to my input being respected and listened to...
How do women in that culture maintain a feeling of significance? My words imply that I believe in the headship of men, but I'm not sure they are heartfelt. This is an extreme example perhaps, and I know that there are many issues inside this issue, but I'm only addressing the one tonight (sigh of relief). How do I learn what it is to be under submission while maintaining my opinions, thoughts, beliefs? God didn't give me a mind to waste, but where does it come into play?
I am an American, and I have a lot of frames that I've fit life into. One of my professors said that people don't reject those lifelong frames unless there's some sort of crisis. I like being around diversity. It doesn't confuse, like it may sound when I'm on here, but it does make me think. I think that's a good thing. I think it's a bad thing to always be around the same type of people who hold the exact same beliefs as yourself. Trees fall down when there's no wind...
So tonight, I stepped outside one of my frames and took a look. Now God, teach me from that new perspective.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Orthopraxy
It's as if I'm a binge blogger or something. All at once and then nothing at all. Take in all the ideas, think about them for a while, then spit them out at you. Ok, so maybe that's not a very attractive way of stating it, but, it's what came first to mind...
I'm excited about a couple of things that I wanted to share (and I'll have to keep it short cause I have Perspectives in a minute..)
I heard 2 people talking about orthopraxi today in two completely different settings. How exciting, yea? For those of you who don't know wha orthopraxy is (like me before today..) it's orthodoxy in practice I guess. Walk the talk, you know? I love it when you start hearing about the same thing from different people, it's a neat way to see the work of I AM.
The other exciting thing, I get to witness the strength of the Lord in people. It's incredible, I wasn't there for the beginning, but I get to see it closer to the end (although, technically there's not an end). I get to watch God pour His healing and mercy into a few people's lives, and it's so encouraging to me, I can't tell you. Maybe because the situations I've been around for in the past haven't turned out this way, at least not yet. It's my dream mom. (I'll tell you about my dream some other time if you don't know, no time today..)
Well, it's been a good day. Go put some theology into practice!
I'm excited about a couple of things that I wanted to share (and I'll have to keep it short cause I have Perspectives in a minute..)
I heard 2 people talking about orthopraxi today in two completely different settings. How exciting, yea? For those of you who don't know wha orthopraxy is (like me before today..) it's orthodoxy in practice I guess. Walk the talk, you know? I love it when you start hearing about the same thing from different people, it's a neat way to see the work of I AM.
The other exciting thing, I get to witness the strength of the Lord in people. It's incredible, I wasn't there for the beginning, but I get to see it closer to the end (although, technically there's not an end). I get to watch God pour His healing and mercy into a few people's lives, and it's so encouraging to me, I can't tell you. Maybe because the situations I've been around for in the past haven't turned out this way, at least not yet. It's my dream mom. (I'll tell you about my dream some other time if you don't know, no time today..)
Well, it's been a good day. Go put some theology into practice!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
unity and love
I can see a movement growing in our nation. A people who recognize the need for community, for social justice, for something more than the do not's we have had. I see a need for unity, the setting aside of religious prejudices, political prejudices. The church is not dying, it is not all corrupt, and it is not bad. It is only changing. Growing, through the old and the young, into what we need.
It is not that the church is not trying to care for people (not all of it anyways), it is that they are maybe ill-equipped to do so. The poor (the poor in spirit and poor in circumstance) are no longer in our midst as they were in the early church's, they are "out there". That's not ok. It's not our job, our responsibility, to bring them to church. It's our blessing to share love and what we have with them. And we don't need to only go to them. We need to be with them. Does that make sense? When I think of go, I think short term, there's still separation between their lives and mine. When I think of be, I think not of my life and theirs, but of togetherness.
Did not Christ ask us to give up the lives we have had in order to do His work? I know it sounds nice in idea form, but in practical everyday life form it's just not practical. When was Jesus practical? Do you know, I think everyone is prejudiced to some extent when they read the Bible. I know I am. I don't think it's wrong, I think it's wonderful. Wonderful that God made us to reflect Him. Wonderful that He is so MUCH and we don't even have the capacity to reflect Him entirely, and so He made us all different so that we can see His many reflections.
A friend of mine once used the illustration of a diamond. Many facets, same rock. Same Rock. It's the reason I like to go to my charismatic church on saturdays and my baptist church on sundays. Of course the churches are different! God is not flat, He is full. He is so full, the different aspects of Him spill out into different people, and they are only reflections of that.
It is only wrong if you allow your prejudices, the way you see the Word, to allow disunity. If I wanted to go to a church I agreed with in every way, I'd have to start my own. Really, I don't care if a church is about something a little different in one area than I would be so long as they have God, have His Love which they are sharing, and believe that Christ is His son, etc. Is it going to matter in Heaven if you believe in two baptisms or one, or will it matter that you loved? 1 Cor. 3 and Philippians 2:2-3.
I have gone off on a tangent, and I don't remember why, but I don't really want to re read what I've written cause I'm tired and need to go to bed. As soon as I get this out, otherwise I will not be able to sleep.
I just want so much for you to understand what I've been learning and dreaming about. I want to get it out that I believe Jesus talked more about caring for the poor than he did about following rules. I believe the Word emphasizes community, and that's why we're praying and dreaming about starting a community house. I believe God's heart is for the poor, and the socially abused. Read James 1:27, Isaiah 58, Jesus words (any of them), Matthew 12:7, etc. I believe that the extreme individualism to the point of darwinism (survival of the fittest mentality), and love of wealth needs to change, that the change has to start with us.
I believe we need to be lovers of peace, not of war. The church of Iraq prays for us, because it is known that the religious right supports the war. Am I a pacifist? who knows.. but I do believe in peace, I know that much.
I just heard about a group of community houses called the Boiler Rooms, part of the 24-7 prayer thing. The author of Blue Like Jazz writes about his church's journey to community. The Irresistible Revolution is another book that seems to be sweeping across the whole nation. It is all about community, and the houses they have in the Philly and Camden areas that they've been able to love people through. I could mention more.
It's just so exciting to me, to hear and read about the way God is moving through our country. He has a theme, and it's one of love. It goes beyond the normal theology and religious sects and into unity beyond those things. The uniting comes from a heart that has been given to all the children of God. Hopefully we can all uncover that, when it's been covered or shoved aside, hopefully we can all learn what it means if we never knew. Most of all I pray that we will embrace that heart, desiring mercy and not sacrifice, and learn to live through that. With it. In it.
Maybe, I hope, we can show our people the true love of God. Maybe we can break through the prejudices created by "christians" who have become pharisaical and unloving. Maybe, just maybe, they will join our dance.
Once, there was a small group of kids who decided to go to a park in the middle of the city, and dance and play, laugh and twirl. As they played in the park, they thought that maybe another child would pass by and see them. Maybe that child would think it looked fun and even decide to join them. Then maybe another would. Then maybe a businessman would hear them from his skyscraper. Maybe he would look out the window. Maybe he would see them playingand ay down his papers and come down. Maybe they could teach him to dance. Then maybe another businessman would walk by, a nostalgic man, and he would take off his tie and toss aside his briefcase and dance and play. Maybe the whole city would join the dance. Maybe even the world. Maybe... Regardless, they decided to enjoy the dance.
-Shane Claiborne (Irresistible Revolution)
It is not that the church is not trying to care for people (not all of it anyways), it is that they are maybe ill-equipped to do so. The poor (the poor in spirit and poor in circumstance) are no longer in our midst as they were in the early church's, they are "out there". That's not ok. It's not our job, our responsibility, to bring them to church. It's our blessing to share love and what we have with them. And we don't need to only go to them. We need to be with them. Does that make sense? When I think of go, I think short term, there's still separation between their lives and mine. When I think of be, I think not of my life and theirs, but of togetherness.
Did not Christ ask us to give up the lives we have had in order to do His work? I know it sounds nice in idea form, but in practical everyday life form it's just not practical. When was Jesus practical? Do you know, I think everyone is prejudiced to some extent when they read the Bible. I know I am. I don't think it's wrong, I think it's wonderful. Wonderful that God made us to reflect Him. Wonderful that He is so MUCH and we don't even have the capacity to reflect Him entirely, and so He made us all different so that we can see His many reflections.
A friend of mine once used the illustration of a diamond. Many facets, same rock. Same Rock. It's the reason I like to go to my charismatic church on saturdays and my baptist church on sundays. Of course the churches are different! God is not flat, He is full. He is so full, the different aspects of Him spill out into different people, and they are only reflections of that.
It is only wrong if you allow your prejudices, the way you see the Word, to allow disunity. If I wanted to go to a church I agreed with in every way, I'd have to start my own. Really, I don't care if a church is about something a little different in one area than I would be so long as they have God, have His Love which they are sharing, and believe that Christ is His son, etc. Is it going to matter in Heaven if you believe in two baptisms or one, or will it matter that you loved? 1 Cor. 3 and Philippians 2:2-3.
I have gone off on a tangent, and I don't remember why, but I don't really want to re read what I've written cause I'm tired and need to go to bed. As soon as I get this out, otherwise I will not be able to sleep.
I just want so much for you to understand what I've been learning and dreaming about. I want to get it out that I believe Jesus talked more about caring for the poor than he did about following rules. I believe the Word emphasizes community, and that's why we're praying and dreaming about starting a community house. I believe God's heart is for the poor, and the socially abused. Read James 1:27, Isaiah 58, Jesus words (any of them), Matthew 12:7, etc. I believe that the extreme individualism to the point of darwinism (survival of the fittest mentality), and love of wealth needs to change, that the change has to start with us.
I believe we need to be lovers of peace, not of war. The church of Iraq prays for us, because it is known that the religious right supports the war. Am I a pacifist? who knows.. but I do believe in peace, I know that much.
I just heard about a group of community houses called the Boiler Rooms, part of the 24-7 prayer thing. The author of Blue Like Jazz writes about his church's journey to community. The Irresistible Revolution is another book that seems to be sweeping across the whole nation. It is all about community, and the houses they have in the Philly and Camden areas that they've been able to love people through. I could mention more.
It's just so exciting to me, to hear and read about the way God is moving through our country. He has a theme, and it's one of love. It goes beyond the normal theology and religious sects and into unity beyond those things. The uniting comes from a heart that has been given to all the children of God. Hopefully we can all uncover that, when it's been covered or shoved aside, hopefully we can all learn what it means if we never knew. Most of all I pray that we will embrace that heart, desiring mercy and not sacrifice, and learn to live through that. With it. In it.
Maybe, I hope, we can show our people the true love of God. Maybe we can break through the prejudices created by "christians" who have become pharisaical and unloving. Maybe, just maybe, they will join our dance.
Once, there was a small group of kids who decided to go to a park in the middle of the city, and dance and play, laugh and twirl. As they played in the park, they thought that maybe another child would pass by and see them. Maybe that child would think it looked fun and even decide to join them. Then maybe another would. Then maybe a businessman would hear them from his skyscraper. Maybe he would look out the window. Maybe he would see them playingand ay down his papers and come down. Maybe they could teach him to dance. Then maybe another businessman would walk by, a nostalgic man, and he would take off his tie and toss aside his briefcase and dance and play. Maybe the whole city would join the dance. Maybe even the world. Maybe... Regardless, they decided to enjoy the dance.
-Shane Claiborne (Irresistible Revolution)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
what a concept
What a busy week! It's the hardest thing to slow down when you need to when everything that's going on is so good. That's my lesson of the month. Slow down... just say no!
Part of it (BIG part), of the busyness, is in my mind. I have a couple of classes that are so interesting, but somewhat mind-consuming, and I tend to go over and over and over things in my head once I hear something. I over-analyze, not tht you've noticed that on here haha..
You've been getting political blogs outta me because of my Policy and Legislation class, as well as a book I recently read called the Irresistible Revolution. I'm also in a class on fundamentalism called Recent Trends in Religion. That's a thinking class as well, which I'm thoroughly enjoying. Everyone in the class is interested in the topic, which always makes a class ten times better. The instructor is very good, and challenging, and I like being challenged. The only problem, as I have stated, is that I over-analyze, so I like to hve a while to think over ideas and when there's so much to process every week I get into over-drive mode. Then I get tired.
And thus the state I am in right now. My body is rebelling against busyness, physically and mentally. Last night I spent some time reading psalm 94 and it was so good. It was the perfect thing for me to read, and after that I felt the weariness lift right off of me. It was amazing. And just in time for bed haha..
So, I got a revelation this morning :), that this world is not my home. That it will never be perfect (ideal), and that I need to chill out.
I'm also taking a class outside of NAU called Perspectives (highly recommended), and heard an interesting thing I don't think I'd heard before (although I could have, and just didn't process it). Missions exists because worship doesn't. hmmm... Why were we created? To worship, to be with God and to glorify Him in all His goodness. (what is the chief end of man....) What good are we unless we are doing that and helping others to do it? It is in that that there is rest for the soul.
God always said lif would be hard on earth, but He also always promises rest in Him. (Second half of the lesson.) So go worship the Lord and get some rest!
Part of it (BIG part), of the busyness, is in my mind. I have a couple of classes that are so interesting, but somewhat mind-consuming, and I tend to go over and over and over things in my head once I hear something. I over-analyze, not tht you've noticed that on here haha..
You've been getting political blogs outta me because of my Policy and Legislation class, as well as a book I recently read called the Irresistible Revolution. I'm also in a class on fundamentalism called Recent Trends in Religion. That's a thinking class as well, which I'm thoroughly enjoying. Everyone in the class is interested in the topic, which always makes a class ten times better. The instructor is very good, and challenging, and I like being challenged. The only problem, as I have stated, is that I over-analyze, so I like to hve a while to think over ideas and when there's so much to process every week I get into over-drive mode. Then I get tired.
And thus the state I am in right now. My body is rebelling against busyness, physically and mentally. Last night I spent some time reading psalm 94 and it was so good. It was the perfect thing for me to read, and after that I felt the weariness lift right off of me. It was amazing. And just in time for bed haha..
So, I got a revelation this morning :), that this world is not my home. That it will never be perfect (ideal), and that I need to chill out.
I'm also taking a class outside of NAU called Perspectives (highly recommended), and heard an interesting thing I don't think I'd heard before (although I could have, and just didn't process it). Missions exists because worship doesn't. hmmm... Why were we created? To worship, to be with God and to glorify Him in all His goodness. (what is the chief end of man....) What good are we unless we are doing that and helping others to do it? It is in that that there is rest for the soul.
God always said lif would be hard on earth, but He also always promises rest in Him. (Second half of the lesson.) So go worship the Lord and get some rest!
Monday, January 01, 2007
New Year's Day
Sitting in Macy's, checking email and blogs, drinking Naked juice.. no chai tonight, I just got off work and I'm wired enough..
New Year's in Williams was better than I expected. I had to prepare myself mentally to go there, I always do, but God wanted me to go and I think because I'm still processing through life there. If I don't visit occasionally, it gets pushed to the back of my mind, and even now I really don't have many memories of growing up there.
I thougt that forgetting about it was the answer, I can't separate sad things from good very well, and bad memories always effect the good ones, so I choose not t remember anything at all. That's not the answer. That's part of why I went to Williams for New Year's.
Going into Social Work, or even any field involving people, is hard. People aren't safe, kinda like God, only for different reasons. But pain is good for you, in my opinion. Evading (is that the right word?) pain is very bad. So it's time to stop evading. And that, mother, is why I don't like Williams. Well, not that I don't like it, but why it's a very hard place to be. It forces me to face who I've been, where I've been, and things I've been forgetting.
God has been telling me something, and I think it is that I need to go. So, Europe? maybe. He hasn't gotten that far with me yet. I would so much appreciate you guys (parents) praying about it for me.
We've moved into the other townhouse now, and I like being there :).. It's quite cozy, full of blankets and Julie's collection of things from her many travels round the world. And, we have an oven!!! And carpet :).
Well, here's to a new start, new things to learn, new friends to make, and old friends to love. May it be full of the Lord's movement and may we be part of it!
New Year's in Williams was better than I expected. I had to prepare myself mentally to go there, I always do, but God wanted me to go and I think because I'm still processing through life there. If I don't visit occasionally, it gets pushed to the back of my mind, and even now I really don't have many memories of growing up there.
I thougt that forgetting about it was the answer, I can't separate sad things from good very well, and bad memories always effect the good ones, so I choose not t remember anything at all. That's not the answer. That's part of why I went to Williams for New Year's.
Going into Social Work, or even any field involving people, is hard. People aren't safe, kinda like God, only for different reasons. But pain is good for you, in my opinion. Evading (is that the right word?) pain is very bad. So it's time to stop evading. And that, mother, is why I don't like Williams. Well, not that I don't like it, but why it's a very hard place to be. It forces me to face who I've been, where I've been, and things I've been forgetting.
God has been telling me something, and I think it is that I need to go. So, Europe? maybe. He hasn't gotten that far with me yet. I would so much appreciate you guys (parents) praying about it for me.
We've moved into the other townhouse now, and I like being there :).. It's quite cozy, full of blankets and Julie's collection of things from her many travels round the world. And, we have an oven!!! And carpet :).
Well, here's to a new start, new things to learn, new friends to make, and old friends to love. May it be full of the Lord's movement and may we be part of it!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Catch a Fire
I saw Catch a Fire tonight, and cried during a movie for the second time this week! The sorrows of the world can b so overwhelming. my friend says it's a social worker's disease.. to want to go everywhere and fix everything. The thing is, I can't do it. I can't fix anything. How could I possibly "fix" a child who was forced to watch their loved being beaten? How could I "fix" a young girl who has been sold, by her family, into the sex slavery? Fix is such an awful word when it comes to things like that. No, you cannot undo what has been done, and you cannot restore a broken heart to what it was before. You cannot replace innocence. You cannot wipe out a memory. I cannot, I cannot! No one can. God can, but He doesn't. He heals. He gives. But evil is not reversible. It makes me so angry, so confused as to how people can be so evil! So inhuman! Such wicked, evil people... And then to know that I allow evilness in my heart. not the same kind, but what is wrong is wrong. I want to scream at those people, I would see them dead, but why not me too? i need to feel the same anger at the sin in my life. The same repulsion.
Oh God! Thank you for freedom! Thank you for cleaning me! Thank you for your heart.
I have the gift of mercy. I suppose that's why I am studying Social Work. I can't see movies about things like that without wishing I could help in any way. If I could buy all of the children in the brothels, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But what would I do then? I cannot save them from their memories.
We can pray. Pray for the people enslaved around the world, in America there are thousands. In Thailand and Hong Kong there are hundreds and hundreds of thousands. In Africa, it is more than a nightmare. it is a reality, that the children walk miles every night to sleep in shelters so that they won't be kidnapped. It is a reality that tonight children are praying their legs won't be cut off in the morning because they made a mistake in their chores. It is real. It is happening right now. And I, I am in a safe, comfortable house with food and dignity. With dreams and security. And it is a wonder I am not flat on my face every morning with Thankfulness. It is not wrong to be safe. It is not wrong to enjoy what the Lord has blessed you with. It is wrong to ignore the suffering of others. It is wrong, not to love them as ourselves, not to give what we have. It is wrong not to thank God for what we do have. I fail in this every moment. In fact I want more. Incredible. Sickening?
Thank the One who sees us, the One who hears the cries of his children. The One who gives Himself to us. And what is He? He is Love, he is Joy, he is patient, kindness, goodness. I could use some peace right now. maybe He is calling me to go to the suffering, but I will not go alone. I would have nothing to give.
No, the kind of fasting I want calls you to free those who are wrongly imprisoned and to stop oppressing those who work for you. Treat them fairly and give them what they earn. 7I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome poor wanderers into your homes. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. 8“If you do these things, your salvation will come like the dawn. Yes, your healing will come quickly. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind. 9Then when you call, the LORD will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Stop oppressing the helpless and stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors! 10Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as day. 11The LORD will guide you continually, watering your life when you are dry and keeping you healthy, too. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. 12Your children will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as the people who rebuild their walls and cities.
Isaiah 58:6-12
Sorry it's not a happy post. It's not a completely happy world though, and I had to at least somewhat process this before I can sleep! Thanks for letting me work some of the way through. And what a blessing to be thankful for as we approach Thanksgiving! For freedom!
Oh God! Thank you for freedom! Thank you for cleaning me! Thank you for your heart.
I have the gift of mercy. I suppose that's why I am studying Social Work. I can't see movies about things like that without wishing I could help in any way. If I could buy all of the children in the brothels, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But what would I do then? I cannot save them from their memories.
We can pray. Pray for the people enslaved around the world, in America there are thousands. In Thailand and Hong Kong there are hundreds and hundreds of thousands. In Africa, it is more than a nightmare. it is a reality, that the children walk miles every night to sleep in shelters so that they won't be kidnapped. It is a reality that tonight children are praying their legs won't be cut off in the morning because they made a mistake in their chores. It is real. It is happening right now. And I, I am in a safe, comfortable house with food and dignity. With dreams and security. And it is a wonder I am not flat on my face every morning with Thankfulness. It is not wrong to be safe. It is not wrong to enjoy what the Lord has blessed you with. It is wrong to ignore the suffering of others. It is wrong, not to love them as ourselves, not to give what we have. It is wrong not to thank God for what we do have. I fail in this every moment. In fact I want more. Incredible. Sickening?
Thank the One who sees us, the One who hears the cries of his children. The One who gives Himself to us. And what is He? He is Love, he is Joy, he is patient, kindness, goodness. I could use some peace right now. maybe He is calling me to go to the suffering, but I will not go alone. I would have nothing to give.
No, the kind of fasting I want calls you to free those who are wrongly imprisoned and to stop oppressing those who work for you. Treat them fairly and give them what they earn. 7I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome poor wanderers into your homes. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. 8“If you do these things, your salvation will come like the dawn. Yes, your healing will come quickly. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind. 9Then when you call, the LORD will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Stop oppressing the helpless and stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors! 10Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as day. 11The LORD will guide you continually, watering your life when you are dry and keeping you healthy, too. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. 12Your children will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as the people who rebuild their walls and cities.
Isaiah 58:6-12
Sorry it's not a happy post. It's not a completely happy world though, and I had to at least somewhat process this before I can sleep! Thanks for letting me work some of the way through. And what a blessing to be thankful for as we approach Thanksgiving! For freedom!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Mr. Time, sir, please wait for me!
Time has been altogether elusive lately. I am finding it hard to catch a minute, just to catch up you know, grab some coffee.. Actually, this year hasn't been so bad. I mean, yes Time is running away faster than ever, but I have had a good autumn-time. I actually made it to Oak Creek, Lockett Meadow, Young's Farm, and a new discovery, the courthouse in Prescott where I spent a lovely sunday reading a book and people watching while drinking a latte that was not too shabby. Yes, it was a good Fall. Let's make TIme give us everything he's got eh? Dancing under the stars, twirling my sister, watching the sunrise because I can, smelling the crunchy colorful leaves! I think one of the secrets to remembering life as more than just a blur of activities and "things to do" is to make yourself sit down and stop at least once a day.
I enjoyed a beautiful sunset on Friday night when I should've been cleaning dishes lol.. (Well, I wasn't actually supposed to be doing dishes yet, but I usually start them at that time) It made my day so much more day-ish and less whatjusthappenedandisitalreadytimetosleep-ish. the One who sees me has spent time trying to make things here on earth so that we can enjoy some of his beauty.
I was thinking, watching that sunset, what beautiful thoughts our Lord must have. And then I thought, well we are his thoughts too, and how much more time did he spend on us?
I want to see the beauty of His mind, I can't understand how so much can be in One. How much Joy, happiness, grace and justice, pain and longing yet being everything there is.. and none of it contradicting, but all of it so intense! I think my emotions are intense sometimes, but they are nothing by comparison.
So tomorrow, I am leaving in the morning to drive back up to the mountains... my other home. My family is my real home, but the mountains can be one of my homes too. if that makes sense (and, well, even if it doesn't. it is my blog after all.) And I am going to enjoy it. I am going to get some coffee (with caffeine lol.. my dad made decaf without telling us this morning. thus my headache.) and I am going to drive in silence or some good praise music, probably both, and i am going to have the windows down, and I am going to have a sunday. Then hopefully, i am going to share some stuff about Jesus and other cultures he made with some kids. good night all. May the Lord (the Lord! the Holy One!) bless you, and KEEP you, and may he cause His Face to SHINE upon you! all the days of your life.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Aesthetic Beautiful Truth
My mom just posted an old blog on reflection. Here is mine...
I think refection occurs often for me when I see/hear/smell etc something God has made to be beautiful. Aesthetic beauty if you will. I was at a concert this week listening to voices that God made to be beautiful (Brandon Heath! Aaron Shust, and Bebo Norman), but that was not what caused me to "reflect" or maybe a better word, To stop. To listen. To rejoice. I also think that Truth can be aesthetically beautiful, and that is a most powerful thing.
We hear truth a lot, but usually it has been watered down or smothered in doctrine. When truth is spoken in simple and clear ways, it becomes a hammer to strike at our hearts like a hammer hitting a gong to awaken the people. To call them to the meal. In Old Testament times, to share a meal with someone was to commit yourself to them. Well we who are God's have already been committed, and the supper lays waiting at the table. It's like we've walked away in the middle of the main course and left the food half eaten. The gong is to bring us back. I digress lol.
Bebo Norman was sharing with us an experience he had while in Africa on a trip with Compassion International. He and a few other Americans were visiting some of the families being sponsored. They met this one family living in a hut made of dung and straw. They were talking with the father of the family (through an interpreter) and asking him questions. One of the Americans asked him this question, "If you could have one thing from God to give to your family, what would that be?" Well, the man sat and thought. And he sat and he thought. This went on for quite a while; to the point where the group was rather uncomfortable with the silence. And then, the man lifts his head up, and he gives his answer. "You see, that tree right there? That tree grows fruit which my family eats. This hut, this is where my family sleeps at night. If you walk, down there a ways, there is a river where my family gets water to drink. And this is our goat, from the Compassion International, and from it we get milk for the children. Because of my sponsored child, we have come to know Jesus. You ask me what more I want? But I say we have all we need."
Hmm.. If someone were to ask me that same question... I'd be embarrased to write all the responses I could come up with in 1 minute. but that was a slight digression as well.
The singer went on to say, so rightly, that it is NOT the job of the government to feed and clothe the poor, the hungry. It is OUR responsibility. Ours. God gave it to us, and what have we (yes, we) done with it? I can tell you what I've done with it. I've ignored it. I've excused it away. I've heard christians say (on the radio or somewhere, not talking about people I know) that if God blesses you with this or that (unnecessary) thing, thank him for it and don't be ashamed. But is that true, or is it a feel good philosophy? I'm not saying we need to be Franciscans, but really, do I need the closet full of things when a child is dying at this moment of malnutrition? That, to me, is sickening. It is the responsibility of God's people to help those in need of it. James 1:27. So that was my aesthetic beautiful truth.
Even when truth is stepping on my toes it does make me stop, listen, and rejoice. God called us first to love Him, and second to love people. I don't think I'm doing it. It almost makes me wish I'd been born in that hut that I might appreciate God and blessings as I should. Well, I wasn't born there. I was born in America, our modern day Babylon. I've been infiltrated and brainwashed with the self-serving mentality and I've succumbed to it. Hmm.
Well, tomorrow is another day to live and work. And I'm going to live in it. Sooo I'm going to sleep. I hope this isn't a guilt trip thing. I didn' t mean for it to be, but it struck me, so I needed to get it out. Hold me accountable to what I say (even thought I won't want you to lol). And I am serious, and I think that this is a tragic problem that needs to be fixed. And there you have it, I promise not to keep going now. Pastor's daughter, remember? (I like it when you go on though dad, I do!) Ok good night!
I think refection occurs often for me when I see/hear/smell etc something God has made to be beautiful. Aesthetic beauty if you will. I was at a concert this week listening to voices that God made to be beautiful (Brandon Heath! Aaron Shust, and Bebo Norman), but that was not what caused me to "reflect" or maybe a better word, To stop. To listen. To rejoice. I also think that Truth can be aesthetically beautiful, and that is a most powerful thing.
We hear truth a lot, but usually it has been watered down or smothered in doctrine. When truth is spoken in simple and clear ways, it becomes a hammer to strike at our hearts like a hammer hitting a gong to awaken the people. To call them to the meal. In Old Testament times, to share a meal with someone was to commit yourself to them. Well we who are God's have already been committed, and the supper lays waiting at the table. It's like we've walked away in the middle of the main course and left the food half eaten. The gong is to bring us back. I digress lol.
Bebo Norman was sharing with us an experience he had while in Africa on a trip with Compassion International. He and a few other Americans were visiting some of the families being sponsored. They met this one family living in a hut made of dung and straw. They were talking with the father of the family (through an interpreter) and asking him questions. One of the Americans asked him this question, "If you could have one thing from God to give to your family, what would that be?" Well, the man sat and thought. And he sat and he thought. This went on for quite a while; to the point where the group was rather uncomfortable with the silence. And then, the man lifts his head up, and he gives his answer. "You see, that tree right there? That tree grows fruit which my family eats. This hut, this is where my family sleeps at night. If you walk, down there a ways, there is a river where my family gets water to drink. And this is our goat, from the Compassion International, and from it we get milk for the children. Because of my sponsored child, we have come to know Jesus. You ask me what more I want? But I say we have all we need."
Hmm.. If someone were to ask me that same question... I'd be embarrased to write all the responses I could come up with in 1 minute. but that was a slight digression as well.
The singer went on to say, so rightly, that it is NOT the job of the government to feed and clothe the poor, the hungry. It is OUR responsibility. Ours. God gave it to us, and what have we (yes, we) done with it? I can tell you what I've done with it. I've ignored it. I've excused it away. I've heard christians say (on the radio or somewhere, not talking about people I know) that if God blesses you with this or that (unnecessary) thing, thank him for it and don't be ashamed. But is that true, or is it a feel good philosophy? I'm not saying we need to be Franciscans, but really, do I need the closet full of things when a child is dying at this moment of malnutrition? That, to me, is sickening. It is the responsibility of God's people to help those in need of it. James 1:27. So that was my aesthetic beautiful truth.
Even when truth is stepping on my toes it does make me stop, listen, and rejoice. God called us first to love Him, and second to love people. I don't think I'm doing it. It almost makes me wish I'd been born in that hut that I might appreciate God and blessings as I should. Well, I wasn't born there. I was born in America, our modern day Babylon. I've been infiltrated and brainwashed with the self-serving mentality and I've succumbed to it. Hmm.
Well, tomorrow is another day to live and work. And I'm going to live in it. Sooo I'm going to sleep. I hope this isn't a guilt trip thing. I didn' t mean for it to be, but it struck me, so I needed to get it out. Hold me accountable to what I say (even thought I won't want you to lol). And I am serious, and I think that this is a tragic problem that needs to be fixed. And there you have it, I promise not to keep going now. Pastor's daughter, remember? (I like it when you go on though dad, I do!) Ok good night!
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I will give you rest
It's been awhile I think.. Sorry mom ;). I've been kinda busy, but it's been a good few weeks! I have to say, God has blessed me with an abundance of Joy this week! Maybe because of the change in the weather, maybe just because He is good. In any case, Praise God for who He is!
I was remembering a time a few years ago, when a friend, out of the blue, asked me why I love Jesus. I can't remember what I said at that time. I'm constantly learning so much about God, I've only scratched the surface and there is so much more to Him than I know. There is so much more to know, I wish I could get several of the wise people I know together so I could listen to them talk. That's part of what I love about the coffee shop where I work. People are constantly coming in telling their stories and I'm learning so much just being at work :)
I began going over in my mind all the things that I would say now, all of the things God is, all the things He's made.. The weather these past couple days reminds me of God's love. I love God because He is a God of beautiful things, the sky,
the stars (out in the middle of no where in the dark when you can see millions of them across the sky)
the ocean-- the steady and powerful rolling of the waves, the smell and taste of it in the air, the wildness of God revealed in it
The trees, especially this time of year, I love the smell of the leaves as they fall
The people. The beautiful people who allow love to inhabit them! The children.. so amazing
God is so many wonderful things.. Doesn't it amaze you that He IS love, joy, peace, etc? He doesn't just have those qualities, they are are Him and He is them. There is so much more... I enjoy these things so much. They are wonderful things showing me a wonderful God, but they do not mean so much as what God speaks to me in my life every day. Sometimes I am better at listening than at others, but I can Rest! in the assurance that He is always there. Isn't rest good? So good.. thank God for Sundays.. those in my heart throughout the week as well as the literal ones.
Hmm I'm not in much of a writing mood tonight I guess (yea, I know, this thing is ridiculously long anyways haha). I have a couple funny work (office this time) stories, but they'll have to wait. This week went by so fast, I can't believe tomorrow is Sunday!
James 1:27
I was remembering a time a few years ago, when a friend, out of the blue, asked me why I love Jesus. I can't remember what I said at that time. I'm constantly learning so much about God, I've only scratched the surface and there is so much more to Him than I know. There is so much more to know, I wish I could get several of the wise people I know together so I could listen to them talk. That's part of what I love about the coffee shop where I work. People are constantly coming in telling their stories and I'm learning so much just being at work :)
I began going over in my mind all the things that I would say now, all of the things God is, all the things He's made.. The weather these past couple days reminds me of God's love. I love God because He is a God of beautiful things, the sky,
the stars (out in the middle of no where in the dark when you can see millions of them across the sky)
the ocean-- the steady and powerful rolling of the waves, the smell and taste of it in the air, the wildness of God revealed in it
The trees, especially this time of year, I love the smell of the leaves as they fall
The people. The beautiful people who allow love to inhabit them! The children.. so amazing
God is so many wonderful things.. Doesn't it amaze you that He IS love, joy, peace, etc? He doesn't just have those qualities, they are are Him and He is them. There is so much more... I enjoy these things so much. They are wonderful things showing me a wonderful God, but they do not mean so much as what God speaks to me in my life every day. Sometimes I am better at listening than at others, but I can Rest! in the assurance that He is always there. Isn't rest good? So good.. thank God for Sundays.. those in my heart throughout the week as well as the literal ones.
Hmm I'm not in much of a writing mood tonight I guess (yea, I know, this thing is ridiculously long anyways haha). I have a couple funny work (office this time) stories, but they'll have to wait. This week went by so fast, I can't believe tomorrow is Sunday!
James 1:27
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
differences
Very full and interesting day yesterday!
I got an email from someone yesterday afternoon that a guy I know was missing in the canyon. He lives there and I've met him when I've gone to visit the missionaries and Lainee: he does not know God (yet), but he is on his way... Well we spent the afternoon praying for him and last night I called Lainee to check up. They found him, he'd fallen 50 feet and gotten a compound fracture in his ankle. They flew him here to the hospital and we're going to visit him tonight. It's a miracle that they found him, he was off the trail doing some climbing where he probably shouldn't have been, and without water or food.
Last nigth was also my very first time going out and street witnessing. The FCF people are very avid about this, and there was a youth group here doing a presentation in the Square. The first person I saw was someone I've been praying for in our prayer/accountability group. I talked to them fro a while, and they're very open to hearing about God. Pray for them and for me!
We had been given tracts to hand out, but I didn't give any out. I'm not sure how I feel about tracts... I also got to meet a homeless man who was also very open to God, and definately desirous of changing his life around. He knew that the lifestyle he was leading was empty and he was on his way to Tucson to get a job and settle down. Pat and Armando bought him a ticket there. I have to tell you about Armando some time, one of those reminds you of Jesus people...
We met back at the lighthouse and after most people had left there was a knock on the door. It was an FCF guy and two homeless men. he told us a heartbreaking story. One of the men had been sitting on the side of the road asking for change. A man came by him and kicked him, pure malice. He kicked this man so hard, his arm was shattered. Bethany "examined" him after they cleaned up some of the blood to discover that the bone was sticking out of his arm, and that's what was causing him to bleed. The guys drove him to the hospital.
Are people really so cruel?? As if being homeless made this man less of a human, that he could treat him that way. How utterly brutalistic. It is a trajedy that humans treat one another with cruelty when they think other people are worth less then themselves. We've seen it with slavery, the POW's in Iraq, domestic violence. And don't we do it in ways more subtle in every day life? Not only with homeless people, but with those dressed differently than ourselves. I know people my age who are afraid of walking into a church because they've been snubbed before for the way they dress. Because they are different. AM I wrong? Do you remember seeing anyone in your church who had tattoos, peircings, and dark makeup on? I don't.
Can this change? It would take a makeover of the heart. I fully admit to having preconceptions about people all the time, and yet those whom I have met have shown me full acceptance, of my beliefs as well as my style.
I was afraid to talk to the kids around the Square last night because I looked differently from them (vice versa). I hid that fear behind a mask of "Well, I don't want to push them away from Jesus by pushing things on them", but really, it was selfishness. It was fear, and it was denial of the story I have to tell. I have to apologize for that.
Well I'm off to get ready to go back to work. Be blessed and seek Joy!
I got an email from someone yesterday afternoon that a guy I know was missing in the canyon. He lives there and I've met him when I've gone to visit the missionaries and Lainee: he does not know God (yet), but he is on his way... Well we spent the afternoon praying for him and last night I called Lainee to check up. They found him, he'd fallen 50 feet and gotten a compound fracture in his ankle. They flew him here to the hospital and we're going to visit him tonight. It's a miracle that they found him, he was off the trail doing some climbing where he probably shouldn't have been, and without water or food.
Last nigth was also my very first time going out and street witnessing. The FCF people are very avid about this, and there was a youth group here doing a presentation in the Square. The first person I saw was someone I've been praying for in our prayer/accountability group. I talked to them fro a while, and they're very open to hearing about God. Pray for them and for me!
We had been given tracts to hand out, but I didn't give any out. I'm not sure how I feel about tracts... I also got to meet a homeless man who was also very open to God, and definately desirous of changing his life around. He knew that the lifestyle he was leading was empty and he was on his way to Tucson to get a job and settle down. Pat and Armando bought him a ticket there. I have to tell you about Armando some time, one of those reminds you of Jesus people...
We met back at the lighthouse and after most people had left there was a knock on the door. It was an FCF guy and two homeless men. he told us a heartbreaking story. One of the men had been sitting on the side of the road asking for change. A man came by him and kicked him, pure malice. He kicked this man so hard, his arm was shattered. Bethany "examined" him after they cleaned up some of the blood to discover that the bone was sticking out of his arm, and that's what was causing him to bleed. The guys drove him to the hospital.
Are people really so cruel?? As if being homeless made this man less of a human, that he could treat him that way. How utterly brutalistic. It is a trajedy that humans treat one another with cruelty when they think other people are worth less then themselves. We've seen it with slavery, the POW's in Iraq, domestic violence. And don't we do it in ways more subtle in every day life? Not only with homeless people, but with those dressed differently than ourselves. I know people my age who are afraid of walking into a church because they've been snubbed before for the way they dress. Because they are different. AM I wrong? Do you remember seeing anyone in your church who had tattoos, peircings, and dark makeup on? I don't.
Can this change? It would take a makeover of the heart. I fully admit to having preconceptions about people all the time, and yet those whom I have met have shown me full acceptance, of my beliefs as well as my style.
I was afraid to talk to the kids around the Square last night because I looked differently from them (vice versa). I hid that fear behind a mask of "Well, I don't want to push them away from Jesus by pushing things on them", but really, it was selfishness. It was fear, and it was denial of the story I have to tell. I have to apologize for that.
Well I'm off to get ready to go back to work. Be blessed and seek Joy!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
indecision indecision
I was just reading over some of my old blogs and trying to remember who I was then and figure out if I am much different now. I didn't like myself much today, but probably because I was in a selfish mood (sorry mom). It seems I am in a constant state of indecision now about one thing or another. Does everyone feel this way, or is it just a college age thing? I hope it doesn't last too much longer, I hate being so indecisive. Or maybe it's not that I'm indecisive, I have actually made plenty of decisions, they just seem to change all the time due to circumstances beyond my control. The decision to stay in Flagstaff for example. I had been going to take a semester off and try to go to Mozambique.. then it didn't work with school.. but now I'm not even sure what school I'll be going to. SO was I wrong to decide to stay n Flagstaff? As much as I want to live with Julie and be with the people I know there, I want to go to Mozambique. I feel like something's not quite right... Oh how I wish God would write a letter and tell me what decisions He wants me to make. On the other hand, I know that I want my degree in Social Work, it's just not very convenient with all of the other things I want to do haha. If they would just let me take off any time I wanted, and didn't take all my money and let me study what I really want to study life would be good. yeah right. Buckle up, take responsibility.
Ever since middle school I had felt the weight of trying to get into a good school. Sometimes I couldn't sleep with the stress of it. All through high school. And then came the day that we realized those schools we were looking at weren't even possibilities. Disappointed? Very, but willing to accept that God must not want me there. Then I went through the Well why am I even here stage. In my mind I had worried all those years about getting somewhere without thinking about why I was trying to get there. And then I lost my scholarship (goodbye pride lol), and it was about that time that I realized why I wanted to be in school. Isn't it ironic (don't ya think)? And that is where I am today. Lord only knows where I'll be tomorrow. Indecision... hey it can't last forever. After all, tomorrow is anothah day...
Praise God for all the things He uses to teach us! Be Blessed, Seek Joy of Him!
Ever since middle school I had felt the weight of trying to get into a good school. Sometimes I couldn't sleep with the stress of it. All through high school. And then came the day that we realized those schools we were looking at weren't even possibilities. Disappointed? Very, but willing to accept that God must not want me there. Then I went through the Well why am I even here stage. In my mind I had worried all those years about getting somewhere without thinking about why I was trying to get there. And then I lost my scholarship (goodbye pride lol), and it was about that time that I realized why I wanted to be in school. Isn't it ironic (don't ya think)? And that is where I am today. Lord only knows where I'll be tomorrow. Indecision... hey it can't last forever. After all, tomorrow is anothah day...
Praise God for all the things He uses to teach us! Be Blessed, Seek Joy of Him!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
this week
There is an older couple who come sit outside the coffee shop every once in a while. The man is blind; the lady reads him a devotional and they sit and talk for a while. I just thought it was the sweetest thing.
The coffee shop where I work is owned by a church/ministry. I haven't actually been to the church yet. It's very different from what I'm used to; even at work I've been out of my comfort zone a few times, not that that's a bad thing at all. Today the pastr came in for quite a while and some kids were there hanging out so they were all talking. Pastor Steve decided we should all pray, and we did it in a way I don't think I've ever done it before. He just asked us to think about what was going on in our lives, and then to believe that God would take care of it. After a minute he prayed aloud and thanked God for taking care of it. I liked that.
I can't help but think that the world would be a completely different place if only christians would believe that what they ask of God will be answered. I can't think of any place in the Bible where someone prayed that they would see God's will. There probably are several that do, but it seems like more often than not they already knew God's will.
We went to Williams for the fourth of July. The parade was very long this year. It started off with the now traditional skydivers (4 this year) which was pretty fun, and then the procession began. There was something new this year: the classic tractors association. About 20 tractors (20!) rolled past us at a rate of 2 miles an hour... oy. And what's really funny about that is Williams is not even close to being a farming type place. The other outstanding thing in the parade, the Dancing Grannies. Yes, they are grannies, and they dance (while wearing costumes). pretty much fantastic.
After the parade we had dinner (at the newly remodeled Pine Country) and of course we had their world-famous pie as well. Then we walked around downtown for a little while, and stopped in at Scott's camera place to see Buff. You may remember my blog about Buff the mayoral candidate. He now has his own shirts, and a local artist painted a portait of him in a suit. Buff is a dog. (people in town are rather cynical about the small town politics there...)
The coffee shop where I work is owned by a church/ministry. I haven't actually been to the church yet. It's very different from what I'm used to; even at work I've been out of my comfort zone a few times, not that that's a bad thing at all. Today the pastr came in for quite a while and some kids were there hanging out so they were all talking. Pastor Steve decided we should all pray, and we did it in a way I don't think I've ever done it before. He just asked us to think about what was going on in our lives, and then to believe that God would take care of it. After a minute he prayed aloud and thanked God for taking care of it. I liked that.
I can't help but think that the world would be a completely different place if only christians would believe that what they ask of God will be answered. I can't think of any place in the Bible where someone prayed that they would see God's will. There probably are several that do, but it seems like more often than not they already knew God's will.
We went to Williams for the fourth of July. The parade was very long this year. It started off with the now traditional skydivers (4 this year) which was pretty fun, and then the procession began. There was something new this year: the classic tractors association. About 20 tractors (20!) rolled past us at a rate of 2 miles an hour... oy. And what's really funny about that is Williams is not even close to being a farming type place. The other outstanding thing in the parade, the Dancing Grannies. Yes, they are grannies, and they dance (while wearing costumes). pretty much fantastic.
After the parade we had dinner (at the newly remodeled Pine Country) and of course we had their world-famous pie as well. Then we walked around downtown for a little while, and stopped in at Scott's camera place to see Buff. You may remember my blog about Buff the mayoral candidate. He now has his own shirts, and a local artist painted a portait of him in a suit. Buff is a dog. (people in town are rather cynical about the small town politics there...)
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Storms and Fires
So here I am in the library sitting in my chair (yes, I have a chair) enjoying the silence that I come here to enjoy :). It's raining. Storming, actually. All of a sudden I hear a roar of rain coming down on the roof. I love thunderstorms! Don't get me wrong, I love our blue Arizona skies, but really, I long for a good storm every once in a while.
This one just happened to come at the perfect time too. It's been a rather thunderstormy week in my life. Nothing happened, just every so often I find myself going down that dark hole and I have to work my way out of it. Well, it's starting to take a toll on me:physically and emotionally.. and spiritually. But God is good, is He not? His grace is amazing, and His love powerful.
Thunderstorms are such an experience of His power. It's like Him showing us, Look, I can make it rain down on you, refresh you, quench your thirst, and I can do it in powerful and gentle ways.
I went to the worship service at the Canyon on Sunday with a couple of my friends. The wind changed directions that day and began blowing the smoke from the North RIm fire in our direction. The ash falling on our heads looked like snow. We drove over to the rim to look at the smoke and the whole Canyon was full of it. The sun was deep red, and we could vaguely make out the outlines of the edges in the Canyon. It was beautiful even though it was there because of a huge fire (over 15,000 acres now). Yet another display of God's power, a more formidable one to me. I'd much rather have a thunderstorm than a fire of course. If there weren't fires though, the forest would be overgrown. The more undergrowth, the stronger the fire. The more junk there is, the more it needs cleaning out, and the more painful the process. Thank God for his Grace, even if it comes as a storm. And pray for me this weekend if you happen to remember it. Thanks!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Independent
I’ve been picking up a signal from who knows where, and it keeps fading in and out.. so frustrating haha.
I was told by a girl I work with that I seem independent. I’ve never had anyone tell me that before, and really that’s one of the last words I would’ve used to describe myself. Me independent? Psh.. me.. and yet I’m beginning to wonder if that’s one of the things that’s changed in me. I know I’ve changed a lot, I’m just not sure what those changes have been yet. If you have any help idea, please let me know ;)…
Independent. Lol I just looked it up in the thesaurus, I’ll list some of the words I found that go along with it: self-governing, self-sufficient, separate, and free. Funny thing, most of these are things I am fighting against.
When I am self-governing I do a terrible job at it. I’m not meant to govern over myself. It’s stressful, guilt inflicting and I have a tendency to judge myself for the wrong reasons. I say that because I judge my conduct, my thoughts on almost a works basis. God doesn’t give me grace according to what I do/don’t do. Well of course He doesn’t. everyone knows that. In their heads.
Self-sufficient.. self-supporting.. on my own.. you know I’ve never wanted to really be self-sufficient. I take huge comfort in the fact that there is always someone there to catch me when I mess up. I don’t even like working by myself because I like to have someone there telling me exactly what I need to do. Starting a new job is always a huge stress for me because I like to know exactly what is expected of me at all times. If I were self-sufficient I wouldn’t need grace. But I do, I am lacking.
Separate. To be unconnected and on the outside. Detached from things and people and places. Sometimes I wish I were more, sometimes I wish I wasn’t. at times I will purposely separate myself from everyone, kinda shut down. That’s only every once in a while though.. I have learned so much about telling people what’s going on with me this year, even with my parents. I went through a pretty rough time a couple years ago and I think it would’ve helped me to tell someone, but, now I can, so all’s well lol. I have started to hate the word reserved. I mean, yes a lot of the time it’s a necessary thing, but I need to be a friend to have friends as the cliché goes, so I’m learning about that too. Take a risk every now and then lol. I have been too reserved though, and I’m not sure yet what I’m afraid of, but I’ll figure it out sometime I suppose.
FREE! Oh I am free! I am free like the wind, free to be led by God to all sorts of places and see what things He has made. This is my independence. It’s ironic that I practice this last one the least, when it’s what God most wants me to experience. Freedom from the world and all the dirtiness of it. I am free to feel clean, to fight the battle and know that i’m on the winning side!
I’m free to do things I’ve never been able to do before, like taking a semester off and going on a missions trip. (I’ve actually looked at prices for airline tickets to London to lol.. wishful thinking. If I didn’t have a job and rent though, I’d probably take off. Well, maybe someday. When I’m finally done with school. I decided I’m never going to enjoy school… it’s a means to an end, and a torture in between lol.) Well this has gotten very long (and I never write looonng blogs of course..) so I must go. I’m glad we had this talk.
I was told by a girl I work with that I seem independent. I’ve never had anyone tell me that before, and really that’s one of the last words I would’ve used to describe myself. Me independent? Psh.. me.. and yet I’m beginning to wonder if that’s one of the things that’s changed in me. I know I’ve changed a lot, I’m just not sure what those changes have been yet. If you have any help idea, please let me know ;)…
Independent. Lol I just looked it up in the thesaurus, I’ll list some of the words I found that go along with it: self-governing, self-sufficient, separate, and free. Funny thing, most of these are things I am fighting against.
When I am self-governing I do a terrible job at it. I’m not meant to govern over myself. It’s stressful, guilt inflicting and I have a tendency to judge myself for the wrong reasons. I say that because I judge my conduct, my thoughts on almost a works basis. God doesn’t give me grace according to what I do/don’t do. Well of course He doesn’t. everyone knows that. In their heads.
Self-sufficient.. self-supporting.. on my own.. you know I’ve never wanted to really be self-sufficient. I take huge comfort in the fact that there is always someone there to catch me when I mess up. I don’t even like working by myself because I like to have someone there telling me exactly what I need to do. Starting a new job is always a huge stress for me because I like to know exactly what is expected of me at all times. If I were self-sufficient I wouldn’t need grace. But I do, I am lacking.
Separate. To be unconnected and on the outside. Detached from things and people and places. Sometimes I wish I were more, sometimes I wish I wasn’t. at times I will purposely separate myself from everyone, kinda shut down. That’s only every once in a while though.. I have learned so much about telling people what’s going on with me this year, even with my parents. I went through a pretty rough time a couple years ago and I think it would’ve helped me to tell someone, but, now I can, so all’s well lol. I have started to hate the word reserved. I mean, yes a lot of the time it’s a necessary thing, but I need to be a friend to have friends as the cliché goes, so I’m learning about that too. Take a risk every now and then lol. I have been too reserved though, and I’m not sure yet what I’m afraid of, but I’ll figure it out sometime I suppose.
FREE! Oh I am free! I am free like the wind, free to be led by God to all sorts of places and see what things He has made. This is my independence. It’s ironic that I practice this last one the least, when it’s what God most wants me to experience. Freedom from the world and all the dirtiness of it. I am free to feel clean, to fight the battle and know that i’m on the winning side!
I’m free to do things I’ve never been able to do before, like taking a semester off and going on a missions trip. (I’ve actually looked at prices for airline tickets to London to lol.. wishful thinking. If I didn’t have a job and rent though, I’d probably take off. Well, maybe someday. When I’m finally done with school. I decided I’m never going to enjoy school… it’s a means to an end, and a torture in between lol.) Well this has gotten very long (and I never write looonng blogs of course..) so I must go. I’m glad we had this talk.
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