Real? Rant?

BLAH!!!!!!!!! And that is how I feel right now. My mom asked me why I wouldn't leave up a blog that I took down because it was real. So here's another real blog, and I guess I'll leave it up. I've been struggling to give something to God, and I feel like He's been taunting me with it. At least, that's how I feel. I don't actually know that He's taunting me. AND I want to go somewhere and do something. I don't like this just working and living and not heping anybody, BUT I'm scared to do anything about it. AND I think God wants me here just workign and living and not going anywhere (for time being) BUT I don't want to and I don't understand why He didn't want me in school because now this puts off what I really want to be doing with my degree. All I want (yes yes, I said I... point taken..) is to get my degree, change the world, get married somewhere in the middle of that (more towards the beginning actually) and have kids. That's it. Really, is that too much? I also want to know everything about God, be full of Joy and Life and memorize the Bible. Only God's taunting me right now. or something. But we're still on speaking terms, I just dont' appreciate the taunting very much.. no, I'm not going to tell you what He's taunting me about. It's not that real of a blog. AND I want a personality makeover. wouldn't mind a physicla one as well. I may as well want snow. AHHHH!!!! And that, is how I feel tonight. btw, I'm also frustrated with America and her lack of care for countries that really need our help. Including our own. Stupid celebrities and athletes. Getting paid millions while teachers get dirt. That's nice America... Good priorities. but who needs teachers? We've killed a whole generation already cause we're selfish and want to have sex with no consequences. Because babies are somehow consequences instead of blessings now. Stupid people. I'm stupid too, don't worry. So this is my real/ranting blog. I don't do it to often so you got most of it. I didn't even go into Africa though. Some other time. I should try to sleep. Only now I'm upset. I should pray. K night..