once upon a time in williams...

We have a modern day Andy Griffith in our midst! Give it up for Officer K, the greatest police officer in the entire world. To begin the story we start off at the house of a Mr. Chadwick Fields. A few have gathered there to visit as the said Mr Fields as he was currently injured…. They sat around discussing fish and all other sorts of things which commonly occupy the conversations of youth.
 There was a knock at the door * knock knock knock * and who should appear but Officer K carrying a bouquet of weeds to cheer the hapless invalid. They were beautiful weeds of a most rare kind, so rare, indeed, that I could not even tell you their names. Officer K was much distressed at the sight of Mr. Fields and begged him not to get up. Officer K (with quite an ecstatic look upon his face) asked them if they would care to see the newest program he had developed for his * ahem * customers. He led them all out to his police car and started to do something on his laptop. He finally had it ready, he turned the laptop towards them and there it was! The official and original Beverly Hillbillies show! He assured us that he had already tested his new program on his * ahem * customers, and it had been pronounced as amazing. (perhaps even stupendous, but we can’t be sure..) he had arrested someone just the other night and played his new program for them, and they had laughed all the way to jail. He hopes to upgrade soon to the Brady Bunch and COPS. 
 You may laugh at my story but I assure you that these events did indeed take place, and if you have any doubts, all you have to do is come see one of the many fine parades led by Officer K. The annual “Clean Yourself Parade” (in which they hand out free bars of soap and spray the audience with water guns) the unnamed parade last year featuring the cop car, the tandem bike, and a band consisting of the mentioned Chad Fields playing his violin (much to the chagrin of the audience….) The next Parade shall be happening this afternoon in honor of a certain injured person at 4:30. Details to be discussed at the coffee shop. 
 Ah the joys of small towns haha!