Friday, May 12, 2006
Finals are over! Did you hear the sigh of relief? I finished on Wednesday morning, and the sun came out. I finally had the whole day (almost) to do whatever I wanted, and you know what I did? I cleaned!! And I enjoyed it! I don't know what it is, but I can't stand being in my apartment if it's messy. I actually avoid going there, it bothers me so much. Maybe a little bit A type?..... So much has happened, at least it feels that way. I started a new job in addition to the one I already have. I made some big decisions.. and then lots of other things that are life. I am working two jobs over the summer; one as a preschool teacher of course, and the other is at a coffee shop. I have also decided to take the next semester off. My roommate decided she's going to a christian college next year, and so I am left roommateless. Also my dad and I had been talking about a mission trip to Mozambique. We know a missionary family there, so it looks like an opportune time to go. Everything's been falling into place, and I'm so excited to be able to go! It'll be really nice to be able to live with my family for a while too. After christmas I'll move back up here and live with Julie, who will be back from her mission trip to the Philippines by then, in an apartment her dad is building. I'm way excited about that as well. It's in a beautiful area right by a park! I won't have to drive to get outside anymore. So that's the plan for now, and I definately feel at peace about it. Of course, that does mean I'll have to live in Phoenix.. I've recently come to realize this.. not that Phoenix is horrible, I just really like being able to go to the grocery store in sweat pants lol! I couldn't ever fit in at ASU. How do they do it? They dress up to go to class... when people do that here we all want to throw rocks at them haha. At the preschool I have a little girl who recently lost her mother. She didn't die, but she lost her just the same. She has a wonderful father who does all he can for her, and two brothers. No mother type figure whatsoever. Well, we're always saying that we wish we could take her out and do girly things with her. One of the girls I work with talked to the little girl's dad today, and she's spending Mother's day with her. And we are all taking her out next week to do fun stuff, see a movie, buy dress ups, the works. We're really excited :). I realized that the kids I pay most of my attention to are the ones who don't have mothers. Instinct? They just need a mommy. It's true they do. Recently I've been pulled toward verses that talk about helping the poor. I think a lot of it does have to do with where I am and the current trend (at least here) towards that. If you haven't noticed, it's very trendy in a way to be fired up about the poor and all of that. It's probably always been that way I guess, especially among college students. I want to have a real heart for that. I don't want to be all talk, which is something that's easy for me to fall into and it makes me sick of myself. Anyways, a group of us girls were standing outside a little thai place tonight and a homeless (and drunk) man came up and asked us for change. A few girls told him we don't have any. He continued to ask for money and then started to point out our nice clothes. He said we had nice homes to go back to and he didn't. Guilt trip stuff. It worked. The whole time he was talking I wanted to tell him, look, I won't give you money but I'll buy you some food. One of the girls ended up doing that, but I didn't. I was scared. I knew God wanted me to buy him food and I did not. I really wish I had. He kept talking while she was getting him food, and the whole time there were so many things I wanted to say about God, but I couldn't. At least I felt like I couldn't, because I hadn't even been willing to buy him food. What kind of Jesus would that have shown him? Not the one that I know. (btw, mom, I was not by myself or I would've left immediately. don't worry lol. got the mace.) I hate feeling hypocritical, and that's how I felt tonight. So moving on, maybe next time I'll do what I should.