I saw Catch a Fire tonight, and cried during a movie for the second time this week! The sorrows of the world can b so overwhelming. my friend says it's a social worker's disease.. to want to go everywhere and fix everything. The thing is, I can't do it. I can't fix anything. How could I possibly "fix" a child who was forced to watch their loved being beaten? How could I "fix" a young girl who has been sold, by her family, into the sex slavery? Fix is such an awful word when it comes to things like that. No, you cannot undo what has been done, and you cannot restore a broken heart to what it was before. You cannot replace innocence. You cannot wipe out a memory. I cannot, I cannot! No one can. God can, but He doesn't. He heals. He gives. But evil is not reversible. It makes me so angry, so confused as to how people can be so evil! So inhuman! Such wicked, evil people... And then to know that I allow evilness in my heart. not the same kind, but what is wrong is wrong. I want to scream at those people, I would see them dead, but why not me too? i need to feel the same anger at the sin in my life. The same repulsion.
Oh God! Thank you for freedom! Thank you for cleaning me! Thank you for your heart.
I have the gift of mercy. I suppose that's why I am studying Social Work. I can't see movies about things like that without wishing I could help in any way. If I could buy all of the children in the brothels, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But what would I do then? I cannot save them from their memories.
We can pray. Pray for the people enslaved around the world, in America there are thousands. In Thailand and Hong Kong there are hundreds and hundreds of thousands. In Africa, it is more than a nightmare. it is a reality, that the children walk miles every night to sleep in shelters so that they won't be kidnapped. It is a reality that tonight children are praying their legs won't be cut off in the morning because they made a mistake in their chores. It is real. It is happening right now. And I, I am in a safe, comfortable house with food and dignity. With dreams and security. And it is a wonder I am not flat on my face every morning with Thankfulness. It is not wrong to be safe. It is not wrong to enjoy what the Lord has blessed you with. It is wrong to ignore the suffering of others. It is wrong, not to love them as ourselves, not to give what we have. It is wrong not to thank God for what we do have. I fail in this every moment. In fact I want more. Incredible. Sickening?
Thank the One who sees us, the One who hears the cries of his children. The One who gives Himself to us. And what is He? He is Love, he is Joy, he is patient, kindness, goodness. I could use some peace right now. maybe He is calling me to go to the suffering, but I will not go alone. I would have nothing to give.
No, the kind of fasting I want calls you to free those who are wrongly imprisoned and to stop oppressing those who work for you. Treat them fairly and give them what they earn. 7I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome poor wanderers into your homes. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
8“If you do these things, your salvation will come like the dawn. Yes, your healing will come quickly. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind. 9Then when you call, the LORD will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.
“Stop oppressing the helpless and stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors! 10Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as day. 11The LORD will guide you continually, watering your life when you are dry and keeping you healthy, too. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. 12Your children will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as the people who rebuild their walls and cities.
Sorry it's not a happy post. It's not a completely happy world though, and I had to at least somewhat process this before I can sleep! Thanks for letting me work some of the way through. And what a blessing to be thankful for as we approach Thanksgiving! For freedom!