WHAT was I THINKING?
Oh dear. 9-5. every day.
I took a different position at work, I'm the receptionist in like, 2 weeks. from 9 to 5. at a desk. INSIDE.
Too much commitment. I'm going to go CRAZY!
Ok, bright side.... there's a window. And.. I can look out of it. At the pretty weather. While I'm inside. SItting at a desk. From 9 to 5. Every day.
They say this is what life is like. This is what it takes to.. have money? Wait... Is that it? I suppose the money means school again next spring.. And school means helping people. Right?
So. How do I avoid this 9 to 5 thing being "the grind"?
I could start by NOT thinking about the trips and little kid summer camps and camping I COULD be doing. I will NOT think about all of those things. I will not.
Ummm.... and.... I'll get to talk to people more. I'll be up front where everyone likes to congregate. I'll get ot meet people who come in. Granted, some of them may be a little angry... it'll be good practice for when I'm in Social Work.... Then I'll have lots of angry people. Only then, they'll be angry at me. Or the government. But I'll probably be mad at the government too, so we'll be angry together. (Just kidding... I won't let them know I'm angry too. That probably wouldn't help.)
SO.. talking to people is good. And... school is good... and... nights off are good... ummm and... maybe it'll look good on a resume? ummm... that's it. Oh, no wait, I'll learn patience too. and long-suffering. (Or are those the same thing? well, long suffering is more descriptive. Maybe I shouldn't use that one though. It has a negative connotation. Let's start out positive! Ok, now I feel like a cheerleader. hmm.) If a monk can rejoice while doing dishes his whole life long, I can rejoice with a desk and a window, right? Right.
And, maybe, they'll let me read books. That, would be fantastic. I have such a long list of books-to-read. Ok, I feel better now. windows, people, and books...
fast from criticism, and feast on praise;
fast from self-pity and feast on joy;
fast from ill-temper and feast on peace;
fast from resentment and feast on contentment;
fast from jealousy and feast on love;
fast from pride and feast on humility;
fast from selfishness and feast on service;
fast from fear, and feast on faith.
I think I've already posted this, but, like I said, I need sticky notes for my brain. Fast from selfishness and feast on service. So I need to pray about how I can be serving these people, in this place God has led me. oh yes, it was Him. Has His name all over it. (He has a sense of humor.) and He is love, whatever He does is love, yea? So what is His love in this? Aha. I don't know, do I? And everything I was complaining about had to do with me, didn't it? yea...
If the people around me can say, at the end of all this, that they see Him, what greater Joy is there? And they need Him, they really do.
It's not only the needy who are poor. There is more suffering in loneliness than in poverty. That's why the little children in Africa-- suffering from AIDS and hunger-- could dance and sing and smile, but the businessman with millions suffers from depression.