Well, I looked for business-y clothes this weekend. And watched a lot of the Office, and it wasn't until today that I noticed how ironic it is that I watched the Office on my day off from the office. anyhow. I decided women's business clothes aren't made for me because none of them seem to fit right. Sad day.
That is me not being happy about offices.
So yesterday church was about God's heart for the poor, and it was hard for me to hear, being stuck here in an office all week long and not doing anything much. I feel useless. I think that is my wanderlust problem.
I started thinking back on all of the things I was involved in in Williams, and I think firstly that I did way too much stuff that I didn't need to be doing. I mean, stuff I wasn't gifted or talented at so it all stressed me out. And I failed sometimes. Which stresses me out. Ok, maybe I didn't fail, but it felt like it. Like this kids' thing I ended up running. It's gone now.
I think I've been feeling guilty that I didn't do more for the kids. I loved the kids, I didn't so much love running that thing. I don't think it was my fault though, so I decided not to feel guilty about it anymore. Which is the short version.
SOmetimes I wonder if God wants me to go back and do something with the little kids there. I haven't a clue what that would be though. There's Younglife.. and wyldlife, which are both amazing and I've seen many kids' lives changed through them and the leaders there. But, there's really not much of anything for the little ones, and really, by 5th grade they're on a path that's hard to change.
Well. Wait and see. I'm not a leader and I'm really bad at initiation. So.
I need to go return the Office and head off to home group. Peace.