Kinder Garden

A short, funny quote from one of my preschool kids :) Malia (another teacher): What should I have for dinner? Me: oo soup salad and breadsticks at Olive Garden! Evan James (5 year old kid in my class): Oh Miss Hannah, I'm going to the Garden! Me: Really? (thinking he meant he ate there... silly me..) Evan: Yea, the Kinder Garden!! Me:Wow! (hahahahaahahahah)

Storms and Fires

So here I am in the library sitting in my chair (yes, I have a chair) enjoying the silence that I come here to enjoy :). It's raining. Storming, actually. All of a sudden I hear a roar of rain coming down on the roof. I love thunderstorms! Don't get me wrong, I love our blue Arizona skies, but really, I long for a good storm every once in a while.

This one just happened to come at the perfect time too. It's been a rather thunderstormy week in my life. Nothing happened, just every so often I find myself going down that dark hole and I have to work my way out of it. Well, it's starting to take a toll on me:physically and emotionally.. and spiritually. But God is good, is He not? His grace is amazing, and His love powerful.

Thunderstorms are such an experience of His power. It's like Him showing us, Look, I can make it rain down on you, refresh you, quench your thirst, and I can do it in powerful and gentle ways.

I went to the worship service at the Canyon on Sunday with a couple of my friends. The wind changed directions that day and began blowing the smoke from the North RIm fire in our direction. The ash falling on our heads looked like snow. We drove over to the rim to look at the smoke and the whole Canyon was full of it. The sun was deep red, and we could vaguely make out the outlines of the edges in the Canyon. It was beautiful even though it was there because of a huge fire (over 15,000 acres now). Yet another display of God's power, a more formidable one to me. I'd much rather have a thunderstorm than a fire of course. If there weren't fires though, the forest would be overgrown. The more undergrowth, the stronger the fire. The more junk there is, the more it needs cleaning out, and the more painful the process. Thank God for his Grace, even if it comes as a storm. And pray for me this weekend if you happen to remember it. Thanks!

summer is here

It's the first day of summer today! It felt like it too; those in Phoenix may scoff, but it was HOT here today. It was, and I think it's because the elevation here is higher and the sun is more intense, but it was hot.. don't laugh..

The first day of summer.. another season is upon us. Truth be told, I'm looking forward to the fall. That is my favorite season, but summer is wonderful of course. The fire season is terrible already, there are 3 fires that I know of around Flag right now. They are closing the forests and lakes and trails and even some of the national monuments (of course not the Grand Canyon, that would be unthinkable). No more hiking, camping, etc. We are all in mourning. *moment of silence*

I was able to finish studying early tonight, so I now I'm relaxing and watching Pride and Prejudice for the bazillionth time. I'm trying to figure out why I like it so much. Aside from the music and scenery and quirky characters, it's rather a slow paced and relatively uneventful movie about a family.. well, I couldn't tell you why it's so good, it just is.

Well I guess I'm not in much of a writing mood, so that's all for tonight.

People

I may have to start writing about the customers that come into the coffee shop where I work, they’re pretty fascinating ;)..

For instance, a guy came in the other day, he works at Starbucks. Now I know you are feeling that immense pity we should all feel for those who work at Starbucks and think they actually make coffee, but hey, there is a bright spot in the poor guy’s life: he has the good taste to come to a real coffee shop.

Yesterday a man came in the door and walked inside past the counter, came back and gave me a dollar. No drink, just a dollar. Apparently he’s infamous for stealing the tip money and all of the baristas automatically hide the jar when they see him. He gives you money to distract you then tries to take it when you’re not looking. Interesting tactics… (oh and no, he did not get the money, it was hidden)

If you happen to hear a loud rumbling noise, don’t worry, it’s not an organized attack by giant killer bees who got tired of people stealing their honey and finally formed a union; it’s just the motor on the back of one customer’s bicycle. Mmhmm, yea, he put a motor on the back of his bike. Some people say crazy, strange and well, nerdy, but I say ingenious! People won’t get all sweaty and nasty by toiling away under the hot sun. that means less showers, which means Flagstaff won’t run out of water and have to import water from somewhere else, and that somewhere then won’t run out of water either which would cause them to import water also, thus causing a vicious cycle. And I am one of those “I knew him when” people. Who, him? Oh yea, I made his coffee.. totally knew him back in the day.. no biggie..

Well, I have more, but they’ll wait for another night. wouldn’t want to overwhelm you, what with the ocean’s eleven guy and the upcoming inventor..

Independent

I’ve been picking up a signal from who knows where, and it keeps fading in and out.. so frustrating haha.

I was told by a girl I work with that I seem independent. I’ve never had anyone tell me that before, and really that’s one of the last words I would’ve used to describe myself. Me independent? Psh.. me.. and yet I’m beginning to wonder if that’s one of the things that’s changed in me. I know I’ve changed a lot, I’m just not sure what those changes have been yet. If you have any help idea, please let me know ;)…

Independent. Lol I just looked it up in the thesaurus, I’ll list some of the words I found that go along with it: self-governing, self-sufficient, separate, and free. Funny thing, most of these are things I am fighting against.

When I am self-governing I do a terrible job at it. I’m not meant to govern over myself. It’s stressful, guilt inflicting and I have a tendency to judge myself for the wrong reasons. I say that because I judge my conduct, my thoughts on almost a works basis. God doesn’t give me grace according to what I do/don’t do. Well of course He doesn’t. everyone knows that. In their heads.

Self-sufficient.. self-supporting.. on my own.. you know I’ve never wanted to really be self-sufficient. I take huge comfort in the fact that there is always someone there to catch me when I mess up. I don’t even like working by myself because I like to have someone there telling me exactly what I need to do. Starting a new job is always a huge stress for me because I like to know exactly what is expected of me at all times. If I were self-sufficient I wouldn’t need grace. But I do, I am lacking.

Separate. To be unconnected and on the outside. Detached from things and people and places. Sometimes I wish I were more, sometimes I wish I wasn’t. at times I will purposely separate myself from everyone, kinda shut down. That’s only every once in a while though.. I have learned so much about telling people what’s going on with me this year, even with my parents. I went through a pretty rough time a couple years ago and I think it would’ve helped me to tell someone, but, now I can, so all’s well lol. I have started to hate the word reserved. I mean, yes a lot of the time it’s a necessary thing, but I need to be a friend to have friends as the cliché goes, so I’m learning about that too. Take a risk every now and then lol. I have been too reserved though, and I’m not sure yet what I’m afraid of, but I’ll figure it out sometime I suppose.

FREE! Oh I am free! I am free like the wind, free to be led by God to all sorts of places and see what things He has made. This is my independence. It’s ironic that I practice this last one the least, when it’s what God most wants me to experience. Freedom from the world and all the dirtiness of it. I am free to feel clean, to fight the battle and know that i’m on the winning side!

I’m free to do things I’ve never been able to do before, like taking a semester off and going on a missions trip. (I’ve actually looked at prices for airline tickets to London to lol.. wishful thinking. If I didn’t have a job and rent though, I’d probably take off. Well, maybe someday. When I’m finally done with school. I decided I’m never going to enjoy school… it’s a means to an end, and a torture in between lol.) Well this has gotten very long (and I never write looonng blogs of course..) so I must go. I’m glad we had this talk.