Saturday, June 30, 2007

Socialism solved

I recently learned an interesting fact about presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton. According to the Village Voice, she was one of the fist women to serve on the Board for (drumroll please....) our friendly, local business-squashing, foreign child labor employing Wal-Mart. Interesting.

I was talking to a friend who may have solved my socialism dilemma. He is a hardcore democratic socialist, but, not politically. Let's see if i can explain this without totally butchering it. He explained that there is a difference between a worldview and a political view. A worldview can be idealistic. A political view has to be realistic. Now that workings of a worldview start out small scale. To change the world you have to start from the bottom up, starting at the top to make a change will only trap people into a worldview that they don't agree with.

It's so simple, I always feel somewhat stupid for not realizing these things from the beginning. At least now I have it straight in my head. I think realizing that difference between a worldview and how you vote politically makes all the difference.

So, I can vote how I think the government should be run on the large scale without conflicting with my "ideals". Thinking about it, that is how the early church operated. They were a socialist community on a small scale and changed the world by staying on that scale, without conflicting the church and state. Until Constantine legalized them. Then the church became the government. That is what birthed so many of the shameful acts in the history of Christianity right there. The Crusades. Need I say more? and that's not even going into the recent junk.

Anyways... I'm at work now, so I'm going to go.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Emerson, Dostoevsky, and Socialism

I had the stomach flu over the weekend, and I can't seem to get my stomach to want food yet. Actually, just the smell of food makes me gag. Oh sad day.

Bluegrass music tonight at the park.. should be good. Ultimate frisbee later (maybe). Promising night.

My flowers are growing. The herbs are doing wonderfully, I'm so excited. I decided to get a hammock. Maybe yard saling? Where are hammocks cheap?

I picked up a book of Emerson. I remembered in a high school Lit class reading him and Thoreau and being completely fascinated by transcendentalism and post-modernism. The theories, that is. Emerson seems to have quite a bit of faith in the goodness of humanity, which one must have if you are to pursue transcendentalism. What really amazes me is how thoroughly his "religion" or theory of life has shaped our culture today. It's really astounding. He didn't mean for it to become what it has, of course, but he believed in man's goodness. He was wrong.

I also started the Brothers Karamazov again. Evidently, Dostoevsky believed that Socialism is the ultimate form of Atheism. Interesting. He uses the reasoning that Socialism depends on the goodness of men, and Christianity depends on the depravity of men (that sounds awful, but there you have it). He draws a comparison to the Tower of Babel which the people of the Earth attempted to use to bring themselves up to heaven. Using Socialism, he says, man is attempting to bring heaven to Earth.

So, knowing that Socialism obviously would not work so well here, are we stuck with Capitalism? Oh what misery. And, isn't it ironic, that in trying to erase materialism from the culture Emerson only succeeded in increasing it? (Ok, it's not all his fault. Thoreau helped. I spent a few years angry at these two for it. I'm beginning to understand that they weren't out to create Paris Hiltons and mega-malls now, that was an accident.)

And was it because he depended on man's ultimate goodness? I think so. His theory of Transcendentalism decreed that every man look to what he saw to be his needs in life. Ex. Love, safety, food, shelter, etc. Man then is to declare that all humans deserve these essentials the same as he. All good so far. Problem is in selfishness. It sounds amazing in theory. But how many people do you know who would go so far as to strive for these things in others' lives as much as their own?

The theory is self-focused. Bad news right off. Isn't it sad though?

Emerson probably thought he knew how to solve the world's problems. I don't think DOstoevsky ever thought such, but he completely forsook God in his process of finding a solution to the problems because he saw Socialism as the answer, and it just does not fit with the Bible. Emerson didn't forsake God, but I think he diminished Him.

So I'm a democratic socialist haha.. just kidding. I really don't know what I am. I find that idealism and realism don't mix so easily, but I believe in striving for the ideal.

Oh, but how to do it?

Monday, June 25, 2007

star gazing

"And a single heart burst into flight
And in the East the whole horizon is in flames,
I feel the thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And with the prairies I am calling out your name." -Rich Mullins

I've been on a Rich Mullins kick this last week. Downtown this weekend we watched a a guy playing a beautiful hammered dulcimer alongside a gal with a violin. A little bit down from him a few men had set up their telescopes for people to enjoy, so after dulcimer guy was done we enjoyed some star-gazing and star-talk. One telescope was focused on the moon, it was incredible to see all the detail, the craters and what looked like plateaus, etc, on a huge body so far away. One of the men had a homemade telescope carved out of rich wood.. he told us some people even make their own mirrors.

I think I'd heard this before, but had forgotten that the light from the stars takes so long to get here. We were looking at Jupiter, the light from which takes about 15 minutes to get here. A star close to Jupiter takes years to travel here. It's like looking into the past.

God has made such an intricate universe.

I started my flower garden, and I was looking at the different colors and shapes of the flowers just amazed at the creativity and beauty of it all. In a flower there are colors and shapes and smells all blended together to make bring something of beauty into the world. The wildflowers on the mountains that no one will ever see exist because God is a God of Beauty and has to show it.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

If I only had a brain

*Sitting outside my back door with my toes in the sand enjoying the perfect weather and the sunset*

I have found a new love. Ultimate frisbee. Or anything involving a frisbee. I found out I could catch and throw the thing (a small accomplishment for some with normal coordination abilities, but for me quite a thrill).

I also played softball on Sunday, a friend needed an extra girl on her team to qualify to play (I guess for co-ed teams there needs to be a certain number of guys and girls). I think maybe God is trying to teach me something. Facing fears? Getting out of comfort zones? FIrst bouldering. Then sports, and in front of people I'd never met. But, I actually didn't do too badly at either one. There may have been people on the team who were just as bad as me, which made it fun.

I bought the movie Freedom Writers a couple days ago. Itis a really good one, you should watch it if you get the chance. It's about a teacher in a bad part of L.A. who learns to love and help a bunch of gang-banging, hurting kids. Neither her father nor her husband can understand why she would be willing to give these kids her time. It grates against my nerves, to hear people say we shouldn't care for others, as if our time is better spent on ourselves and ambitious careers.

There is a new property manager at work who seems to have made it his goal in life to convert me to republicanism and the "ladder of success". Oh man, he knows just how to get me going too. Silence is wise and fools open their mouths too quickly so I don't try to argue, not much anyways... It's all in good fun, but just the same, he represents so much of the world, one that doesn't care, and one that I'm fighting against.

They say if you're not a democrat in college you have no heart but if you're not a republican at 30 you have no brain. Well I'm not so sure how much truth can be found in that, but we need both. The scare crow and the tin man did nothing before they worked together, just sat around collecting rust.

Knowledge needs a heart, and the heart needs wisdom, but I can't make someone value what I do.

The book I'm reading now, Daniel Deronda still, poses the question What is real progress? Progress can only be defined by what one values and in a world subscribing so thoroughly to relativity, where is the defining line? No where but the Word, which places all value on Love.

Saturday, June 09, 2007


I came, I saw, I conquered.

I was up at 5:30 AM today (and the sun was already up! I feel like I've been missing half of all my days by sleeping til 8. And then I remember that I'm sleeping when I miss it, and as much as I enjoy days, I love sleep.) We went yard-saling. It was great, I'd never been before. Some of our associations at work (property management) were having their annual yard sales. Pretty much, whole neighborhoods have yard sales on the same day. Fantastic. One of my friends declined joining us, remarking that yard sales were paying money to take someone else's junk and make it your own. A very pessimistic view. I know, simplify right? But I got books. I think that's allowed. Especially books about St. Francis and C.S. Lewis. Ok, so I got a tea set (and may I add, an amazing green Japanese tea set at that), and a couple sweaters (it still gets cold here at night) and flower pots (I'm turning my back patio area into a garden) and a frisbee (everyone needs one, and I've already put it to use).

Hey, I like what I got, and I'm going to put it to use, so I feel alright about this. I'll get rid of some of my old stuff this weekend to compensate.

I then went to the senior living center to paint nails and met a wonderful spitfire of a lady named Mary. She had bright pink crocs on :) and teased everyone around. I asked if she had any kids and she said yes, and thank goodness they're not the clingy type. Haha! DOn't get me wrong, she said it half seriously and she loves em to death. I just thought I'd mention the fact, you know, to make some mothers *cough feel like there will come the day they too will say stuff like that. Light at the end of the tunnel, if you will. lol.

During the summer in Flagstaff there are all sorts of events downtown at night; salsa dancing, art walks, and movies at the square. Every friday night they show a movie at heritage square for families. It's always so fun to sit and watch a movie (last night was the Princess Bride) outside with fun flagstaff-ey families and little kids running around, the smell of popcorn and cotton candy, etc. I love it!

Then of course, the open mic nights at the tea house and the slams at the coffee bean. The mountains also looked incredible today. I think the nice weather makes everything seem so much better. I'm bummed though, my back is bothering me again and I can't hike as much as I'd like. We did pass the frisbee around some today, but even that bothered me. argh.

I should get some sleep now... it's been a long day-week. I love sundays.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

lectio divina

Slow down - motto of the week(s). Slow down and simplify. Be rid of excess, excess noise (in my car, at home), excess dependencies, excess busyness. Simplify and quit tryin to prove something to the world. They go hand in hand, all three. Why do I have excess whatever? Usually I'm trying to prove something. If not to other people, maybe to myself until I become something completely unlike me.

It's a process.

So, awesome thing. I went to a bible study with a friend that is starting this summer with two older women in the Vineyard church. It's way different from normal bible studies, it's a process called lectio divina (I think), which means divine reading. Basically, one person reads a verse or two out loud and then there is silence and you allow God to speak through what is read. THen you share (Shortly) if you like. There's a little more to it, but that's the gist o the thing. I really like it. She (leader) said it was a process used in monasteries years and years ago. It is necessary to be able to be still (physically and mentally) and meditate on the word.

WHat good timing eh?

The two ladies we met with talked about their process in letting go of their grown (growing) up children. It helped me to appreciate what it must be like, to have a child apart from you living a separate life. I'll try to visit phoenix more :).

I watched a poker game tonight and still have no idea how it works. hm.

Off to bed! very sleepy this week! today i was picturing myself melting into the carpet and staying there for about a week. i don't know why, i just felt so tired that i felt like doing that. that sounds funny out loud. nevermind.

Sunday, June 03, 2007


I did it! I went rock climbing, on boulders that is. I have this intense fear of heights, so for me, this is quite the accomplishment. It was intense. lol. And, my knees are all scraped up for the first time in about 5 years. Incredible. AS will be the movie night at WHite Dove tonight. And so I am off to make some cookies.